Like Cal I’m popping out of limbo for a slightly delayed review of Uncanny X-Men #3. While a review for #3, I will be touching up on 1 and 2 as well.
Spoiler Warning
Tag Archives: Uncanny X-Men
Top 5 Best Comics of September 2009
Boring introduction! I read 21 comics in September, and these were the best.
5. Green Lantern #46
Hey, Green Lantern is great again! We know Mahnke’s art is going to blow our minds, but Johns pulled his weight too, delivering the gore he’s so fond of. There was a lot of progression here, featuring a fight that’s been brewing for a long time. Sinestro and Mongul’s conclusion is not only drawn well, Johns gives each baddie a fun monologue, dripping with a bit of truth. Indeed, for a brief time, Johns made me believe that Mongul could actually win. Loud, bloody, and just the kind of cosmic fun that Johns wants you to have.
4. Wolverine: Old Man Logan Giant Size
It all ends. It was the worth the wait, but for Millar’s part of it, this issue played out exactly how you’d expect, which would’ve been a dull experience, except for the reason we’re all here: Steve McNiven. Just about every panel in here is iconic, ready to be framed on your wall. No matter what silly cliché Millar wrote, McNiven made it sing. However, the writing’s not all bad. This issue pays great tribute to Wolverine’s character as a whole, blending his Western and Eastern ways together. So, even on that corny, Lone Wolf & Cub-inspired last page, I smiled.
3. Detective Comics #857
Another conclusion, what can I say? Those are usually great issues. Alright, Rucka’s opening Batwoman arc hasn’t had as much substance as I’d like, but something we can all agree on is the talent of Williams. We haven’t seen Kate’s origin yet, but she’s already a fully-developed character, mostly due to Williams himself. That continues here, of course, as Williams gets to render some dazzling stunts, with Kate jumping from plane to plane, kicking her way to Alice. Speaking of Alice, this issue delivers a twist with her that I didn’t see coming at all, and it was telegraphed, even on the cover. The twist works, not only to shock us, but as a brilliant window into Kate’s past.
2. Dark Reign: The List – X-Men
I read most of these specials, and this is probably the only one that’s actually a one-shot. Fraction doesn’t conform. This isn’t about political nonsense or the status quo. Fraction gives us the simple tale of revenge, and it works very well. A great deal of that credit goes to Alan Davis. He makes this absurd, spandex-clad medium lyrical. Consider the scene at the end, with Namor, Osborn, and the Sentry. In Davis’ hands, this simple scene becomes a grand confrontation between legends. Superman and Luthor could easily replace Namor and Osborn, and Sentry’s inclusion is the icing on the cake.
1. Dark Avengers/Uncanny X-Men: Exodus
I, like many of you, wasn’t very impressed with this crossover. Fraction’s characterizations were still superb, but the plot seemed to contain nothing but buildup. Well, that all culminated with Exodus, and what a culmination. The epic battle between teams is there, with almost every character utilized. Deals with the devil, an old New Avengers callback, and a new status quo makes this the most explosive comic of the month, and the best too.
Bruce Castle’s Mini-Reviews
I’m down, but not out!
Blackest Night #2
I was right there with Lebeau on the first issue, and you can find a bigger, better review of this issue from him. Johns definitely decreased the needless exposition this time around, but it’s not enough. This event is still moving at a dead snail’s pace. He spends too much time relishing in ghastly, deceased heroes terrorizing live ones. However, you can still find scenes to enjoy here, especially if you’re already fond of Johns’ particular brand of fun. Nightmarish sharks devouring Atlanteans here, a two-page, vertical splash of a resurrected Spectre there. The most impressive element of Blackest Night so far has been the images rendered by Ivan Reis. He’s officially a superstar.
Grade: C+
The Boys #33
Why is John McCrea drawing this? Shouldn’t he be drawing Herogasm? I’m not complaining. Carlos Ezquerra’s art has been sloppy the last few issues, and while McCrea is no Darick Robertson, his work here, and especially on Herogasm, is more than satisfying. Although, he’s still not the right artist for the job. This is a dark, violent arc of The Boys, and McCrea’s images are too cartoony. Ennis’ writing, however, is still top-notch. This issue was a blast. Watching Butcher systematically take down the Boys-filtered Avengers was very entertaining. The fact that this arc is so action-heavy makes it all the more upsetting that Robertson is absent.
Grade: B-
Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #5
It’s nice to have Hellboy back. The reason for the delay was Duncan Fegredo’s, and the wait paid off. I re-read the previous four installments before this one, and Fegredo’s work is simply stunning. The Wild Hunt has featured a fight in just about every issue. It makes each chapter stand on its own as an episodic action series. Fegredo draws the hell out of the battle scenes, while Mignola crafts a menacing threat for Hellboy in the background.
Grade: B+
Ultimate Comics: Avengers #1
Off the heels of the biggest event in the Ultimate Universe’s history, at the start of a brand new status quo, is this issue exposition-heavy? @*&# NO!!! In true, Millar style, he kicks this series off in summer blockbuster fashion, featuring an extended fight scene, and a last-page shock to punch you in the face! As I mentioned with The Boys, if a comic is action-heavy, you have to provide pretty pictures. Well, Carlos Pacheco, in his glorious return to Marvel interiors, is just the man to provide such pictures. He handles all of the action, including some tricky helicopter scenes, with professional ease. Looking for pure, pop bliss? You got it!
Grade: A-
The Walking Dead #64
Dale’s situation provides a wickedly funny beginning. Then we get a typical and sentimental revelation from Dale’s lover, Andrea. I say typical because we’ve seen a lot of it in The Walking Dead, but it is a natural reaction to grief, and we’ve sure seen plenty of that in this series. The rest of the issue is mostly spent planting seeds for future events that culminate in a tremendously badass moment for Rick. Another enjoyable issue, for sure, but this is mid-arc. So, it does suffer from the necessary plot-building.
Grade: B
Uncanny X-Men #514
We’re two issues away from this crossover’s conclusion, and I don’t think it’s the event anyone was really expecting. This isn’t mindless Dark Avenger-on-X-Men action. No, with Matt Fraction at the helm, we’re getting a highly developed and well thought-out story that presents realistic situations for these characters to deal with. The downside to all that is that we’ve had more set-up than payoff, but with an oversized, Mike Deodato-drawn conclusion in the near future, I’m sure we’ll get the carnage that we crave soon enough.
Grade: B
Review: Uncanny X-Men #513
Writing: We’re two issues into Marvel’s only mega-crossover of the summer! And both issues are filled with setup? Yes, that’s right. Two issues and eight dollars later, Fraction is still moving the pieces into position. Fraction introduces the Dark X-Men in this issue, and there are two surprises in the lineup. The details of Norman and Emma’s deal occupy most of this issue’s page count, but Fraction does introduce two threats near the end.
Art: Terry Dodson’s art is most welcome after four issues of staring at Land’s models pose. Unfortunately, Dodson’s strongsuit is cheesecake and splash pages, and with all of the material that Fraction crams into this issue, there’s not much room for any of that. Emma Frost and Dagger look pretty though. Everything is drawn fine, but this issue just doesn’t contain the striking visuals that I know Terry Dodson is capable of.
Final Word: Fraction offers plenty of clever twists & turns that still feel realistic, but with so little actual action going on, this issue was a somewhat boring reading experience. I hope that once Fraction finally finishes setting things up, the payoff will be worth it.
Grade: C+
Dark Avengers/Uncanny X-Men: Utopia #1
The Writing: Fraction puts on his Claremont hat, going back to a theme that has been done to death. “Let’s make the X-Men about intolerance.” A fine message, for sure, but it’s all been done before in the X-Men. That said, Fraction is still writing better-than-the-rest here. He packs this issue full of cleverness. So, you get your money’s worth, but a lot of this stuff feels a bit unnecessary, and it all could’ve fit in a regular issue. But no, these X-Men events have to be oversized and feature Marc Silvestri art.
The Art: Silvestri is Silvestri. I’m not too fond of his work, but he’s a god to some. And, to be fair, he rendered one of the best X-Men tales ever, “Here Comes Tomorrow.” The problem here is that Silvestri needed four additional artists to provide the crowd for Fraction’s script. So, needless to say, all the additional pencilers create a slightly jarring reading experience, and a few continuity mistakes along the way. Also, and this is the problem with nearly every artist Fraction works with, Silvestri renders the action scenes well, but struggles with some of the quieter moments.
Final Word: The last page of this issue is supposed to have a big impact, but it’s already been spoiled. This is Marvel’s only crossover this summer, and, thankfully, it’s completely in Fraction’s hands. As a huge Fraction fan, I couldn’t be happier. However, this special, while good from a technical standpoint, doesn’t provide an interesting enough premise, and, really, isn’t very entertaining.
Grade: C+
Top 5 Best Comics of June 2009!
It’s that time again! Boy, June went quick. We’re halfway through 2009? Wow. Anyway, I read 19 comics in June, and these were the best.
5. Invincible #63
I hate putting this at number five, but this comic is hindered in a monthly format. There is no good jumping-on point. You have to read the whole thing, and rating one issue is like judging twenty minutes of a movie. That said, this is an emotional issue. I’m sure it’s no secret by now that a major character dies. Hell, it was already pretty obvious if you looked at the cover of Invincible #64, but even so, this is one of the best Invincible issues. And that’s saying something.
4. Detective Comics #854
Even if this issue would’ve been terrible, I would’ve forced my brain to like it. Thankfully, to preserve what little respect I have as a comic critic, this actually is a great issue. Greg Rucka finally gets a chance to define his Batwoman, and he doesn’t waste a panel. We’re not going to get the official origin until the next arc, but even after one issue, I know a good deal about what makes Kate tic. But what really makes this comic special is the pure brilliance of Williams’ art. The co-feature is the icing on the cake.
3. Batman and Robin #1
June was a great month for comics. Want proof? The new Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely comic wasn’t the best of the month. How the hell did that happen? Ok, I do wish this comic had more depth and weight, like Morrison’s earlier Batman work, but other than that, this issue is near-flawless.
2. Astonishing X-Men #30
Ellis’ first Astonishing X-Men arc finally concludes. Was it good? You bet your ass it was. I can almost guarantee you I’ll think of it in January, when I post the best stories of the year list. Ellis, in just one arc, has already done a few things. First and foremost, he’s provided possibly the greatest characterization of the X-Men ever. They’re all real characters. They all have their own unique voice. Second, Ellis has taken the X-Men to the perfect genre, sci-fi. I want my X-Men to occupy the realm of science, instead of the done-to-death, political commentary genre. And this first arc was not only sci-fi, it was a mystery too!
1. Uncanny X-Men #512
This issue is a done-in-one. So, yes, it does have an advantage in this format, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t deserve this spot. This issue is a done-in-one, time-travel adventure, filled with science, mutant history, originality, and humor. It’s also wonderfully rendered by the great Yanick Paquette. Is that not enough? Well, then I’ll also mention that this is one of the few comics that nearly brought me to tears. It’s good readin’.
So there it is! Agree? Disagree? Please, let me know!
Review: Uncanny X-Men #512
The Script: Ah, now this is the Matt Fraction I know and love! Fraction is at his best here. This issue is intelligent, witty, dense, and tragic. It also features the return of steampunk Fraction, the one that fueled the early career success, The Five Fists of Science.
The Storyboard: Why isn’t Yanick Paquette on a monthly? Seriously, he’s awesome. He works his magic here. The setting and emotion are captured perfectly. Hey, Marvel, can Paquette become the new, regular-series artist and replace Greg Land? Please?
Final Word: This is easily Fraction’s best Uncanny X-Men issue. In fact, it’s one of the best issues of the year. Truly remarkable, really. By the end, I was almost in tears. I don’t want to oversell it, just do yourself a favor and pick this issue up. It’s completely self-contained.
Grade: A
Review: Uncanny X-Men #511
I’ve read the entirety of Fraction’s X-Men run. We’re what, twelve issues in, right? And time after time, I have to talk about the same problems. Too many characters. Fraction has to service too many stories. And, when it’s his turn, Greg Land’s art. These problems probably won’t go away soon. They are a hindrance, but, damn it, Fraction still writes a good comic!
Sure, he stumbles here and there. The pacing is a bit uneven. Some people are frustrated with the Sisterhood’s plot, although, with that complaint, I disagree. Fraction, being a post-Grant Morrison X-Writer, has the benefit of seeing how to best handle X-Men continuity. Acknowledge it, but don’t let it damage your story. The Sisterhood’s plot is entertaining, relatively original, and ends with yet another addition to the X-Roster. Which is kind of a good thing, right? People do love the X-Men.
As for Land’s art, it’s a bit funny. Land is finally straying away from tracing. Oh, sure, a lot of the faces, particularly the women, look startlingly similar, and there are a few awkward poses here and there, but, for the most part, Land is getting more original. The problem? His original art doesn’t look very good. Now, it could be his inker, I suppose, but it’s still troubling. I hate to kick Land because everyone does, but I have to inform you of the book’s art quality, unfortunately for Land.
Despite the book’s problems, Fraction still keeps things creative and fun. I still love his character introductions. They’re entertaining and necessary. My favorite part of the issue is two pages of fighting that provides some rapid-fire comedy that parodies the idiotic comic-fight-banter. Even if the Sisterhood arc didn’t do anything for you , next issue will feature beautiful Yanick Paquette art and the awesome X-Club! And after that? The Uncanny X-Men/ Dark Avengers crossover completely handled by Fraction! That should be good.
Grade: B+
Review: Uncanny X-Men #510
How do I know that Fraction is a good writer? Because even with all of Uncanny X-Men’s baggage, servicing every other X-Plot, the numerous characters, the Greg Land art, and the fact that Uncanny X-Men hasn’t been good in a decade, Fraction still manages to make Uncanny X-Men original, character-driven, and entertaining. This issue is non-stop action, which, believe me, can be very boring, but Fraction injects some wit, continuity references, and plot into the mix. Fraction’s writing is top-notch.
What about Greg Land? Well, this is one of his better issues. There weren’t any obvious swipes, except maybe this:
Isn’t that from a movie or something? Anyway, Land didn’t really bother me that much. Sure, with all the tracing going on, some of the action panels looked weird, but those generic faces looked pretty.
If you haven’t heard of the Sisterhood’s plot, it’s pretty fun. It’s an example of the twisted continuity references that Morrison mastered. It’s original, while paying homage to decades of X-Men comics. This was probably the most enjoyable installment of the current arc so far. I eagerly await the conclusion.
Grade: B+
Review: Uncanny X-Men #509
(***)
This book continues to suffer from the same problems. The most recognizable, is its inability to move the plot forward. This is a prime example of why Indie comics can be so much better then mainstream ones. When you have to service so much continuity, and more team members than the JSA, you have problems telling a story.
I hate to bring it up because so many people kick him, but Land’s art really bothered me, here. Photo references aside, the comic looks so damn mechanical. Fraction writes characters well, and really, at the heart of it all, the X-Men are about characters. So, when you have everything looking so cold and stationary, it really hinders the comic’s quality. Why can’t Daniel Acuna replace Land? He’s worked with Fraction before, on the X-Men, and he draws beautiful women. Please, Marvel?
What does occur in this issue has me excited. I’m interested in the Sisterhood. What they’ve done so far intrigues me. They’ve already switched Psylocke’s body. Who else are they going to try that on?
Review: Uncanny X-Men #508
(***1/2)
A Jerky Rant: The main problem with Uncanny X-Men, and this is common in mainstream titles, is its lack of freedom. Matt Fraction has ambitiously made Uncanny X-Men the flagship X-Book (That Astonishing thing never ships, anyway). Every mutant problem in the Marvel U is here. Every problem in the X-Books is here. I wouldn’t be surprised if all 198 mutants make an appearance by issue #515. Just about thirty mutants are in this issue alone. Thankfully, Fraction provides humorous introduction captions to help our brain. My favorite caption: “Karma. Psychic Possession. Wasn’t crazy for the wrap-up of Battlestar.” Anyway, with so much material to cover, the plot barely moves forward. If comics weren’t episodic in nature, I probably wouldn’t complain. But they are, so I do.
The Fun Stuff: While some of Fractions ambitions misfire, others shoot me in the chest, but in a good way. Though the team’s newfound, San Franciscan liberal agenda is forced at times, there are moments when it’s quite charming. Seeing a panel of a nude woman in Karma’s bed or Northstar’s cracks about “being your mutant queer mascot” are brief, but appreciated details. In fact, as I mentioned above, Fraction gets a little too detailed. At least it’s all handled well.
The Plot and the Hook: This mysterious Red Queen and her Sisterhood have been plotting for over ten issues. Sadly, there’s still a lot we don’t know even after this issue. I can say though, it’s mighty intriguing. A certain character goes back to the way they used to be, and I’ll leave it at that. Overall, this is a captivating and enjoyable opening chapter, and Greg Land, even in all his porn-swiping glory, provides some pretty pictures.
Review: Uncanny X-Men #506
(****)
Alright, I’m warming up to this book. It’s gotten increasingly better, and that annual was fantastic. I see what Fraction is trying to do, and while it’s not the best approach, his run has the potential to be pretty fun. For too long, the X-Men have been disconnected with the Marvel U and Fraction is trying to remedy that. Fraction’s also given them a goal: Preserving the race and offering sanctuary to all mutants, past and present. That’s cool. What I dislike, is that Fraction has to do so much damn juggling. He has to service the plots of so many other books that it interferes with his own storytelling. Fraction is also using Clairemont’s style, subplots a plenty. Colossus is dealing with his past. Beast and Angel are trying to save the mutant race. And Emma Frost is troubled by Dark Reign and the deterioration of her relationship. So, it’s almost like you’re getting three seven-page stories instead of a single adventure, highlighting one or two team members, which is what I prefer. Still, Uncanny X-Men is better than it’s been in years, and Terry Dodson’s art is always pretty to look at.
Review: Uncanny X-Men Annual #2
(****)
In my review of the last Uncanny X-Men issue, I talked about how Uncanny has become Marvel’s answer to the current JLA. The series constantly services other titles. In the aforementioned last issue, the comic had to address nearly every other X-Book. This time, the title is hijacked by Dark Reign. But you know what? Fraction is a great writer and he makes the most of it.
This annual is two stories juxtaposed to create one awesome Emma Frost tale. One part is about Emma’s past that explores the events of X-Men #73 (Yes, someone remembers that comic) drawn by Daniel Acuna. Acuna captures the opulence of the Hellfire Club wonderfully. The other part is about Emma’s present situation with the Dark Illuminati. This is rendered by Mitch Breitweiser. He brings a gritty realism that properly demonstrates Marvel’s Dark Reign. The two artistic styles don’t mesh well at all and that works.
The story itself is all about Emma with a little help from Namor (Who’s properly rendered, thank God) and Sebastian Shaw. One would think that this is just about answering why Emma is part of the Dark Illuminati with a hint of what she might do next. The comic does cover both of those topics, but it’s so much more. It’s an intriguing tale about Emma and Namor’s (He likes blondes remember) history. It’s about Emma and Shaw’s relationship and how that changed her. This is an example of how a good writer can handle anything. So if you read this for the Dark Reign connection, you won’t be disappointed. If you read this for the X-Men connection, you’ll get an entertaining story featuring one of the most interesting mutants.
Bruce Castle Presents: Matt Fraction Books Unite!
Uncanny X-Men #505 (***)
Do we really want this man writing the X-Men?
I think it’s official, Brubaker has left the building. Did Fracker break up? I don’t know, but that picture is awesome. And Tony was right. Anyway, I feel sorry for this book. It’s become Marvel’s answer to JLA. One of the terrible things about the current JLA is that the book has to keep servicing other books. It spends too much time talking about events that it can’t tell its own stories. That’s exactly what Uncanny X-Men is. This issue spends so much time talking about X-Force, and M-Day, and Astonishing X-Men and now Dark Reign. Fraction only gets a few pages to tell the stories he wants to tell, but it has little impact. It barely makes sense! The Dodson’s continue to impress and the fact that this book isn’t terrible demonstrates Fraction’s ability as a writer. Please Marvel, give the man some freedom!
Invincible Iron Man #8 (****1/2)
Everything about this book is perfect. Except the art of course, Larroca can’t draw people. I know I know it’s Iron Man, but this book is about the characters. It’s not about the iron. Although the few panels involving technology do look sweet. It’s still amazing how Fraction manages to write this cast so well. Tony, Maria and Pepper are so lovable even though they’re definitely human and flawed. You know what else is in this issue? Comedy! I’ve said a thousand times but I’ll say it again, if you liked the movie you’ll enjoy this. Last thing, Osborn is the new Skrull. It’s only been two weeks and already I realize how much I’ll type the name Osborn in the coming months.
Thor: God-Sized #1 (****)
The writing is great. The art is great. There are four art teams working on this thing and yet they’re all pretty cool. I enjoyed the part three artist the most. It was very old-school, cartoony, and fun. So this is a quality issue, but I’m sure a lot of you will ask, “What’s the point?” It’s a tribute. Along with the 38 new pages, you’ll also receive a reprint of the classic Thor #362. Walt Simonson had one of the best runs on Thor ever. It easily rivals the Lee/Kirby era. But you know what? You can’t even get a trade that contains Thor #362. They were reprinted in trades but they’re sold out now. That’s why this issue is important. If you haven’t read Walt’s run, it’ll let you know what you’re missing. If you have read his run, you’ll quickly be reminded how great it was. The reason why I loved part three so much was because you got to see all the classic Simonson costumes, Balder in his armor, Thor with his beard, and so on. Of course this issue isn’t all about Simonson, it’s also about Skurge. He was a tragic and important part of the Thor mythos. I highly recommend this issue.
Bruce Castle Presents: Comic Tax
These are books I dread. I have to buy them, but they usually suck!
Uncanny X-Men #504 (***1/2)
Bring on the women! Bring on Terry and Rachael Dodson! Oh yeah! But in all seriousness, has Brubaker left this book? Is this is the end of Fracker?! I thought I read that Fraction was going to write the first three with Land and then Brubaker was going to write the next three with Dodson and so on. Brubaker and Fraction were credited writers are those first three issues, but Brubaker isn’t on there at all anymore. And come to think of it, Brubaker hasn’t talked about this book has he? Fraction seems to be doing all the interviews. So does anyone know what’s going on? Anyway, how was this issue? Let me break it down:
The Crap: Stop trying to be so original and edgy! Now you’re trying to gradually break up Scott and Emma?! You are not Morrison! Yes, Morrison’s run was awesome but let’s move on X writers! I won’t say that Morrison’s run is untouchable, but you certainly aren’t going to surpass him by building on or copying his stuff! Can’t Uncanny just be a lot of fun and leave the seriousness to Astonishing and even X-Force?
The Awesome: So many pretty women. Fraction definitely knows who his artists are. Terry and Rachael are masters of the cheesecake. I loved Scott’s mind. I would think his head would be boring but it was really intriguing. That Dr. Nemesis dude was pretty cool. And I will admit that the finale was interesting. I actually do care about what comes next.
Punisher War Journal #25 (***1/2)
Wow this was actually good! Well, kind of. It finally has the Secret Invasion tag (It was absent last ish) which is funny because this one isn’t really about the Skrulls. Oh sure they’re there, but this story is really about Frank and Clarke. And I suppose that’s what Punisher War Journal was all about. With one issue left to go, we can finally realize that. Frank and Clarke hooked up in the first issue (I think) and they were buds. Then Frank killed Clarke’s girl due to that damn hate ray. So of course Clarke found out and amongst all the Skrull chaos this gets resolved, kind of. I did like this issue, but it’s a bit weird that probably the most important moment in the series takes place in a tie-in. Those new readers are going to be clueless. Anyway, this was a good issue that included emotionality, goofy Skrulls, and awesome sniper Skrulls. Even Chaykin did a good job, kind of. But that last page left a bad taste in my mouth. C’mon Fraction! One issue left! Make it good!
Ultimate Fantastic Four #58 (***)
My God…UFF is readable again. Is that possible? I’m sorry Mike Carey fans but his run was horrible. Pokaski has the unenviable task of picking up the pieces and apparently dealing with the death of the series. Does that surprise anyone? Is anyone even reading this book anymore? Anyway, this is actually an Ultimatum tie-in, but you don’t need to read it. It’s just about what’s going on with Thing and Invisible Woman while Reed does his thing. Oh and Dr. Storm is dead I guess but Johnny is missing. Again, does that surprise anyone? Bottom line, this is an average issue and this series is really just waiting for the abattoir. But I do want to make one thing clear, Pokaski is a good writer. He makes the most of what he has and it will be interesting to see what he will do when he isn’t forced to write tie-ins.
Bruce Castle Presents: 15 Comic Reviews! I Have No Time!
Ugh! I feel like Billy! I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this but sadly it has. I’ve been really busy saving civilization lately. Hopefully the aliens and super ninjas will stay away long enough for me to write some proper reviews soon. I have to at least write long reviews for Final Crisis and Secret Invasion. Anyway, enjoy my negligence!
Mighty Avengers #19 (***1/2) That’s two good MA issues in a row Bendis! You have one more left to go. Make it count!
Conan #4 (****) Always a solid read and hey the Corben stuff is making sense now. This book looks pretty as well.
Grant Morrison Doctor Who #1 (****) I’m not a Who fan, but this is still usual Morrison excellence. It’s very entertaining forgettable fun!
Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds #2 (****) A bit worse than last issue but this is still epic stuff. Plus, Perez’s art has never looked so good!
Final Crisis: Rogue’s Revenge #3 (****1/2) What a fun series! I’m so in the mood for that new Flash comic. Go villain books!
Green Lantern #35 (****) Yeah it was too long but that won’t matter much in trade. How many origin stories have been better? Oh, and how awesome is Reis?
Secret Invasion: Inhumans #3 (***1/2) More forgettable fun! Pretty art too!
Justice Society Of America #19 (****1/2) One of the most consistently great books out there right now. I like all the Eaglesham art but I don’t like waiting!
Punisher #63 (***1/2) That forgettable entertainment that looks pretty theme continues!
Secret Six #2 (****1/2) Fun! Fun! Fun! But not as great as last issue. Catman vs. Batman!
Amazing Spider-Man #573 (*****) Go JRJR go! Hooray for awesome comics! Stephen Colbert fans must pick this up!
Ultimate Origins #5 (***) Meh. I’ve forgotten it already. Weak last page!
Uncanny X-Men #503 (***) Write better Fracker! You slightly improved here, how about an extreme improvement next time?!
Astonishing X-Men #27 (****1/2) To hell with the haters! This book is awesome! I laugh so much!
Young Liars #8 (****1/2) Very interesting issue! Not as fun, but still fantastic! This is the best book you have never heard of!
Again, I’m so sorry about this crap. Hopefully I can remedy this problem and have awesome new reviews soon. Please comment if you want me to further explain my zany opinions. Sadly, I can’t show all the covers but I will give you this one!
Foilball’s Review Roundup #56 – Previously Reviewed by read/RANTERS!
Action Comics #869 (*****): Another solid chapter in the reinvention of Brainiac arc.
Bruce Castle (*****)
DC Lebeau (Liked it!)
All-Star Superman #12 (*****): So much needs to be said about this book, and I plan to, just as soon as I get my copies of the rest of the series back from Mandy. Expect a Series Review of this masterpiece by the end of the month.
Seventh Soldier (A+)
Bruce Castle (*****)
The Amazing Spider-Man #572 (****): On par with the rest of the arc, but not even close to the ultimate Bullseye vs Spider-Man fight that Slott promised us. Too much hype, dude.
Bruce Castle (****1/2)
Birds of Prey #122 (**): I didn’t read it so much as look at the pretty pictures… and vomit.
DC Lebeau (Hated it!)
Captain Britain and MI:13 #5 (****): Blade, you son of a bitch!
Seventh Soldier (B+)
Daredevil #111 (****): I like her. And I definitely liked this. Matt Murdock. What a bastard.
Bruce Castle (****)
DC Lebeau (Liked it!)
Fables #76 (***): Holy Lord, how much did I hate reading this issue of Fables? Sure, I know Willingham is a hardcore Republican, but some of the dialogue in this issue almost made my head explode. Really, Snow White? Is that how you justify all this death? And this cliché anti-tech speech? LAME. Also, no one talks like this on their cell phone. Can we stop writing crap like this? Please? Question: what does it say about me that I agree with Geppetto?
Desiato (***)
Hulk #6 (****1/2): AWESOME!!!
Bruce Castle (*****)
The Punisher #62 (***): Even without comparing this to Ennis’ take on the character, I would still hate it. And it’s not that I hate all other versions of the Punisher, because I think Fraction’s version is great (until the plot started to suck ass).
Bruce Castle (****)
Robin #178 (***1/2): Okay. Fine. Meh. BLAH. It wasn’t bad, how about that?
DC Lebeau (Liked it!)
Superman #680 (***): OH. MY, GOD. Could Superman be a bigger @$$hole? I do not like this book, but it’s not awful. Not yet.
DC Lebeau (Liked it!)
Ultimate Fantastic Four/Ultimate X-Men Annual #1 (**): Way worse than the last issue. UGH.
Bruce Castle (****)
Ultimate Spider-Man #126 (****): I liked it. Plus, it made me nostalgic for a time when Nick Fury ran S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Ultimates were badass.
Bruce Castle (***)
Uncanny X-Men #502 (**): STAB MY EYES!!!
Bruce Castle (**)
The Walking Dead #52 (***1/2): Okay, with a side of losing interest fast.
Bruce Castle (****)
War Heroes #2 (**): I thought about scanning the penis page… but that would be crude. Get it?
Bruce Castle (***1/2)
Bruce Castle Presents: The Amazing X-Men!
Amazing Spider-Man #572 (****1/2)
Only one more issue left in this arc. I wouldn’t have guessed it when this story began, but I’m actually sad that I can’t read the conclusion until next month. New Ways to Die is topnotch entertainment drawn beautifully by JRJR. It’s so great to see John Romita Jr. back on Spidey. He gets to invent some new characters too which is always cool. Dan Slott also deserves praise. Slott writes Spidey extremely well, but he handles every character with care. Who the heck if this Freak character? Was he always this creepy and crazy or is this more of Romita’s brilliance? We get a cool Bullseye fight, Anti-Venom is further developed, and crazy old stormin’ Norman has some fun too. There may even be some more pleasant surprises, but I don’t want to spoil anything. Go read the issue yourself. This arc gets better and better.
Uncanny X-Men #502 (**)
Uneven would be the word to describe this issue and maybe even the arc. Fraction and Brubaker have worked well together before but something is wrong. They seem to have conflicting opinions. Half of this issue is light hearted and the other half is disturbing. There’s more pointless S&M and even an unnecessary torture scene. Surely Scott knows Emma’s powers right? So, I guess this is just more sadism? Speaking of Emma Frost, apparently she has a tertiary mutation now. The power to turn into Lolo Ferrari (You kiddies at home can turn to page ten in your comic and then Google Lolo Ferrari)! While we’re on the subject of large knockers, Dazzler seems to have quite a pair in this issue as well. This leads to my critique of Land’s art. I’ve always enjoyed his work, but this is the first time I’ve felt dirty while viewing it. A big part of that is the subject matter (Who knows? Cup size may be in the script!), but he should share the blame with Fracker (The best combination of Fraction and Brubaker yet!). I really want to like this comic, but Fracker (I had to say it again) make it hard.
Bruce Castle Presents: Would You Like Your Comic Ultimate, Dark, or Uncanny?
Ultimate Fantatsic Four #57 (-)
This is the price you pay for reading every ultimate title no matter how bad it is. Is anyone still reading this? Doesn’t Mike Carey write X-Men well? So why is his 25 issue run on this book so bad? Did Joe Q tell Carey “hey, Loeb is going to kill this sucker in a few years so just write some BS”? I don’t know, but thankfully he’s finally off the book. Joe Pakaski is replacing him. Pakaski is currently writing SI Inhumans and I really liked the first issue. He also writes for the TV show Heroes. Aron Coleite is currently writing Ultimate X-Men and I like what he’s done with it. Aron also writes for Heroes. Next month, there will be two Ultimate FF/X-Men annuals written by these guys! Isn’t that cool? Will Peter Petrelli show up? Stay tuned!
Dark Ivory #3 (*****)
Ok, I’m bias when it comes to this. Let me explain. I love Joseph Michael Linsner’s art. His art style isn’t for everyone, but I adore it. Linsner rarely does interiors sadly. The last time he did was about two years ago and before that it was three years ago I believe. Oh, and Dark Ivory #2 came out in May. So, I rarely get to see his art in comics, but it’s always a special treat when I do. He’s writing this issue as well. This is a pretty good story. It’s a gothic vampire yarn with a LInsner twist. It looks gorgeous and Linsner definitely writes for his art. This book isn’t nearly as thought provoking as Dawn, but it’s still enjoyable. I would definitely recommend that everyone should take a peak and see if Linsner’s art is for you. If it is, great! If not, unless you really love tales about gothic teenage vampires, you may want to skip this one.
Uncanny X-Men #501 (**1/2)
This is a hard book to review. I’m so conflicted. I love the art. I’ve always been a fan of Greg Land’s work. Apparently his style is a love or hate kind of thing, but I really enjoy it. Ok, so I like the art, I like Fraction, and I like just about anything Hellfire. However, this issue bugged me. It seems that whenever something occurs that I enjoy, there will be something bad right around the corner. There are many character moments that I really liked. They were written well and felt realistic. But, the main villain is an S&M nightmare. This book is trying to be so serious. It includes lover’s quarrels, masochism, and brutality. I guess what bothered me the most was the villain’s attire and the literal act of S&M in an X-Men comic complete with “I’m sorry mistress, I’m sorry”. I’m usually open to this kind of stuff. I’ve read about rape, cannibalism, and even necrophilia in my comics before, but it just seems incredibly inappropriate in an X-Men comic.
Review/RANT: Uncanny X-Men #500
WHAT A ### OF ### ### YOU, BRUBAKER AND FRACTION! I HOPE YOUR ### OF A MOTHER ### GETS ### AND ### DIES… and here’s why!
First, the new X-Mansion…
Hmm, ok. Looks… is stupid the right word?
Really? Just how exactly are you keeping this shit a secret? You already told the entire world where you live, stupid!
Built by whom? The actual US Military or independent contractors!? Have they all been cleared by “X-Security”? as if the US Military would allow your asses to build to “military spec”…
Beast? STFU with the Al Gore agenda! Go die, tree-hugging scum! I find it very hard to believe that the X-Men are concerned with global warming; it just boggles the mind that a group of walking atomic bombs are talking about saving the planet by going green. What about all the property damage you guys cause every time you suit up to fight the “bad guys”? You think that shit doesn’t increase the size of your carbon footprint exponentially? And don’t even get me started on how idiotic it is when super heroes choose a political affiliation. UGH!!!
Um, can I ask yet another question? Why do the writers feel the need to rub our noses in this shit? Yes, the X-Men have money, but here they come off like spoiled rich bastards. This is not a reasonable way for the writers to endear a fundamentally difficult to identify with group of characters with their readers. This is just plain insulting. I don’t envy them, I hate them. “Nice clubhouse, and also… fuck you.”
So, throughout the first few pages of this book, we are led to believe that the “new” X-Men are all about the Liberal agenda, but then as soon as they are confronted with something that personally offend them, they literally go wild shit crazy, demanding that said offensive material be removed from public display. Hmm, I thought the X-Men were always about tolerance.
Now, it occurs to me that perhaps Brubaker and Fraction are trying to cleverly point out the hypocrisy of these X-Men, or the inherent hypocrisy of anyone proclaiming to be utterly tolerant of his fellow man. Well, I’m not buying that, and I’ll explain why when we get closer to the end…
Oh, speaking of intolerance…
Yes, that is an X-Man saying that. Which X-Man is literally anyone’s guess seeing as how every single one that appears in this issue is written horribly out of character.
So, that crack about the wheelchair is offensive, but one of your team using the word “retard” is okay? Hello, Hypocrisy, I’d like you to meet Emma Frost and her friend, Scott Summers. Once more, we have a stunning example of the X-Men as “Role Models for Tolerance”.
…and back to my suggestion that Fraction and Brubaker are somehow trying to point out the X-Men’s hypocrisy? Yeah, not so much. In order for that to be true, the X-Men’s paranoia would have to have been shown as a gross overreaction. No, instead, the writers decide to prove them right. So, class, are you paying attention? It’s okay to destroy or deface “art” if you don’t agree with it. Got it? Sure, they put on a good show, after all, Magneto is attacking again… which in and of itself screams Dues ex Machina, seeing as how Magneto is supposed to be de-powered… and of course he needs to be put down by any means necessary, and if that means destroying some decommissioned Sentinels, which happen to be private property, so be it. “But, but, but, but we need him for the big issue 500 extravaganza!” Shut. Up. Cheap tricks, guys. Very, very cheap.
…sigh. Really? More on this so soon? PUSH THE AGENDA!!!
Yeah, I know, but I just couldn’t leave it out. I mean, I gave the “letting your freak flag” line a pass. What do you want, I’m human!
Shut up, pornstar-Storm. Although, the self-righteous thing is definitely a part of her character, so fine.
Angel takes out a Sentinel all by himself… NO.
As if you weren’t thinking of doing the same thing, Scott!!!
Magneto is dead-on here, and I’m hoping the writers have a plan to use this later. Maybe they really are trying to shame the X-Men? We’ll see.
Oh, great! You mean the sanctimonious X-Fascists are building an army to impose their pseudo-tolerant worldview? SWEET! Can’t wait to read more about the X-Men’s adventures in the Fourth Reich! I can totally see them changing the title of Young X-Men to “X-Youth” any day now.
(I kid, of course.)
I’m done now, I think. I said enough inflammatory things and maybe I should quit while I’m ahead (and perhaps I’m not even that). I leave you with this bit of nonsense:
read/RANT! 
