Foilball’s Review Roundup #56 – Previously Reviewed by read/RANTERS!

Action Comics #869 (*****): Another solid chapter in the reinvention of Brainiac arc.

Bruce Castle (*****)
DC Lebeau (Liked it!)

All-Star Superman #12 (*****): So much needs to be said about this book, and I plan to, just as soon as I get my copies of the rest of the series back from Mandy. Expect a Series Review of this masterpiece by the end of the month.

Seventh Soldier (A+)
Bruce Castle (*****)

The Amazing Spider-Man #572 (****): On par with the rest of the arc, but not even close to the ultimate Bullseye vs Spider-Man fight that Slott promised us. Too much hype, dude.

Bruce Castle (****1/2)

Birds of Prey #122 (**): I didn’t read it so much as look at the pretty pictures… and vomit.

DC Lebeau (Hated it!)

Captain Britain and MI:13 #5 (****): Blade, you son of a bitch!

Seventh Soldier (B+)

Daredevil #111 (****): I like her. And I definitely liked this. Matt Murdock. What a bastard.

Bruce Castle (****)
DC Lebeau (Liked it!)

Fables #76 (***): Holy Lord, how much did I hate reading this issue of Fables? Sure, I know Willingham is a hardcore Republican, but some of the dialogue in this issue almost made my head explode. Really, Snow White? Is that how you justify all this death? And this cliché anti-tech speech? LAME. Also, no one talks like this on their cell phone. Can we stop writing crap like this? Please? Question: what does it say about me that I agree with Geppetto?

Desiato (***)

Hulk #6 (****1/2): AWESOME!!!

Bruce Castle (*****)

The Punisher #62 (***): Even without comparing this to Ennis’ take on the character, I would still hate it. And it’s not that I hate all other versions of the Punisher, because I think Fraction’s version is great (until the plot started to suck ass).

Bruce Castle (****)

Robin #178 (***1/2): Okay. Fine. Meh. BLAH. It wasn’t bad, how about that?

DC Lebeau (Liked it!)

Superman #680 (***): OH. MY, GOD. Could Superman be a bigger @$$hole? I do not like this book, but it’s not awful. Not yet.

DC Lebeau (Liked it!)

Ultimate Fantastic Four/Ultimate X-Men Annual #1 (**): Way worse than the last issue. UGH.

Bruce Castle (****)

Ultimate Spider-Man #126 (****): I liked it. Plus, it made me nostalgic for a time when Nick Fury ran S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Ultimates were badass.

Bruce Castle (***)

Uncanny X-Men #502 (**): STAB MY EYES!!!

Bruce Castle (**)

The Walking Dead #52 (***1/2): Okay, with a side of losing interest fast.

Bruce Castle (****)

War Heroes #2 (**): I thought about scanning the penis page… but that would be crude. Get it?

Bruce Castle (***1/2)

Bruce Castle Presents: Censorship Sucks!

All Star Batman and Robin #10 (**1/2)

I have a lot to say about this, but I’ll try to keep it brief. Remember when I talked about the altered cover in my Action Comics #869 review? Probably the reason for the change was because it came out in the same week as this fiasco. This is a Batman comic that contains numerous F bombs and C words. Here are some of the actual words and enjoy this original page as well. Did I mention that these words and actions come from a 15 year old girl? Miley Cyrus eat your heart out! I think this is more proof that Frank Miller is not writing a Batman comic. This should be an Avatar book. I think people would accept it more. I feel bad for Jim Lee. He has to draw kids groping testicles now?  Jim Lee should be on a different Batman book and Frank Miller should write some indie books. Despite all of this nonsense, I’ve actually enjoyed most of this series. The stories are absurdly fun and Lee’s art looks gorgeous! Speaking of pretty art, isn’t that Frank Quietly cover cool? This issue still looks marvelous, but I can’t say I enjoyed Miller’s writing. This is packed with horrible noir monologues. Analogies, similes, and metaphors used to sound hardcore. Ugh! This issue took so long to read and yet the plot barely moved forward. Lee produces pure beauty and Miller’s writing isn’t completely horrible, but this was disappointing and some shame should go to DC for the editorial misstep as well.

War Heroes #2 (***1/2)

How many of you were pissed when you heard that a Kick-Ass movie will be released only a few months after the comic series ends? Well, Mark “Sellout” Millar does it again! It seems War Heroes will be a movie too. At least they waited until issue #2 came out right? Ok, let’s talk about this issue. What does this have to do with censorship? It contains full-frontal male nudity of course. I know Mark Millar likes to shock people, but this is too much. I remember reading that Millar was going to put anal sex and cumshots in Wanted, but J.G. Jones talked him out of it. I guess Tony Harris couldn’t do the same. A friend of mine who has a nine year old daughter flipped out when he saw this issue on the shelves for kids to see. I’ve also heard on the “Internets” about some trouble that shop owners are having. Do comic distributors deserve blame? I don’t think so, but that’s me. Anyway, Tony Harris is the star of this series. I think Millar knows that too. This is your basic boot camp issue only with superpowers. Instead of putting weapons together they construct planes, instead of lifting weights they lift tanks and so on. This issue is fun and there are some shocks, like the aforementioned penis, but the story isn’t anything spectacular yet. If you’re a fan of Millar’s writing and especially if you like Harris’ art, you should give this book a try.

This inspired my title. Isn’t it awesome? Joe Linsner rocks!

Bruce Castle Presents: Invincible War Heroes!

 

Invincible #51 (****1/2): Oh yeah, you like that highlighted one? It’s got to have first issue appeal then right? Right? Ok, maybe not. Yes, if you haven’t been reading Invincible (You’re a fool!) you shouldn’t pick this up, but instead start on the first trade. You’ll enjoy it though. So yeah I don’t know why Kirkman emphasized the first issue stuff so much, but at least it kind of is a new start. He’s got new threads, new sidekick, and a new girlfriend, oh and a new colorist on the book too. I had a lot of fun with this. There is a lot in it and it’s the usual price. We get a fight with some Kirkman baddies, stuff from last issue gets dealt with, there is quite a few things from earlier in the series that we kind of get little tastes of, and of course those lovely Kirkman character moments. The negatives are the lack of Crabtree (I miss him), the fact that this isn’t much of a jumping on point at least not for a first issue, and of course the very last page. It’ll be interesting to see what most people think of that last page reveal. I’m ok with it, I think, but I’m sure there will be a few moans and groans. It’s an overall great book though.

War Heroes #1 (****): Millar’s plate gets ever larger. Sadly, this is a bad thing because Millar has a certain style that wears thin if you see an overwhelming amount of it like we’re kind of getting now. Millar is known for having a very cinematic style and writing that takes a seemingly conventional idea and makes it fresh and exciting. But we’ve been getting a lot of that with Kick-Ass and even with Wolverine so by now we’re already full of Millar’s particular entree. Having said all that though, I do like this book. The political stuff is a bit too forceful but I still like it and I love that most of it gets wrapped up in 5 pages. I love all the little character moments but like I said it’s very much like Kick-Ass in that this is the “realistic superhero”. I don’t think we get the wonderment that we’re supposed to get, I should have more of a wow feeling when reading this. Still, it’s got that great cinematic Millar feel to it. I wonder if this will be a movie too. Wow, I haven’t mentioned Tony Harris yet. He makes this go from a good book to a great book. The art looks phenominal! Harris was a fantastic choice and Cliff Rathburn’s inks complement it perfectly as he does on Walking Dead. It also looks like this book’s scope is going to expand. I’m excited for the next issue which is always a good thing.

Spoiler Review: War Heroes #1

This is the story that Millar says could have been Ultimates 3. Let’s check it out…

    

The rest of the book introduces the War Heroes cast and goes into a little more detail about the “super pills” the new recruits will be issued.

Ok, if this was The Ultimates, or any super hero genre comic for that matter, these first five pages would decompress into an entire first issue. We’d need reintroductions and reactions from all the Ultimates and the hint of a faceless villain. Here, Millar hurries up and gets on with it by page six. Thank God. Also, if this was Ultimates, I can easily see S.H.I.E.L.D. giving 5,000 enlisted men superpowers in response to the Ultimates’ decision to fly solo. So, yeah, this could very well have been a neat addition to the already classic Millar/Hitch Ultimates run, and a far better sequel than the horrendous Jeph Loeb/Joe Mad mini series.

The Nitpicks:

1) It seems almost too obvious that the attacks against the United States chronicled in the first five pages were perpetrated by the US government. Regardless of whether or not I agree that our government is capable of such a thing, I think the lack of subtlety is a misstep on Millar’s part.

2) Why does Millar’s idea of character development always involve the degradation of women?

3) Melodrama!

There’s more stuff, but I think I’ve bashed it enough, especially since I kind of liked it despite all its flaws. As far as debut issues go, it gives you that swift kick in the pants that makes you crave the next one.