Series Review: Planetary #4

Welcome to another installment of Billy & Mandy’s weekly series review of Planetary, the best book you’ve never read about the super hero genre! We’ll be reviewing each and every issue, beginning with #1 and plowing all the way through to #27, whenever the hell that bastard ships. If you’re just joining us, it’s not too late to get on the ground floor. You can find the previous installment here.

WARNING: SPOILERS!!! If you don’t want to be spoiled, please read the issue before continuing. Or, read it along with us! We welcome your comments and hope that you enjoy ours.

Mandy: Are we going to do this or what?

Billy: I was about to say

Mandy: So the fourth issue opens with the best line ever. I’m going to start describing things by saying, “It’s like Satan farted.” A building has been vaporized… we’re not sure where or why but as the next couple pages unfold, we learn that it belongs to the Hark Corporation, that the guy with the best line in the series was “observing” the explosionating and that he’s reporting to Wilder, personal security assistant something or other to the head of the company.

Mandy: Later, in a phone call, we learn that the fireworks were courtesy of a terrorist group called “The Snowflake”. This is suspicious, obv. Then he, I think rescues a guy from an attack in an alleyway and it’s at that point, I think, that he stumbles across ground zero and realizes that there is something amiss. Unfortunately, this is also sort of where I got lost. So forgive me.

Billy: How did you get lost? Did you read the pages out of order?

Mandy: Yes, I read them. Moron. Anyway, he goes charging through the wreckage…towards something… and in the meantime we see that our friends from Planetary are there. Wilder… falls? Into this light thing or something? I’m not sure. The Drummer wasn’t expecting that and neither was I. Minutes pass and there is humorous joking between Jakita and The Drummer…and then our boy Wilder is expelled from the… um… lightshow?

Billy: I just laughed out loud and then Dylan started laughing… so, just know that we are both here laughing at you.

Mandy: I told you to do the recap. I told you I was confused. So now, he’s in the hospital and he tells the Planetary crew that while he was down there, he became part of a boat, WHAT? to reunite… um… something. He remembers everything, but I do not. IT’S THE SNOWFLAKE.

Billy: HAHA. I love the page with Drummer bouncing on the artifact and Jakita has to tell him to get off. So classic. I wish I owned that page.

Mandy: And then she’s HORRIFIED that she even has to say it. Like, “How is this my crew? How is this my life?”

Billy: What did you think of Axel Brass giving Wilder the once over? Too obvious?

Mandy: Well first of all, Axel Brass is a hot mess these days, is he not? He looks a lot better since they’ve cleaned him up, I’m just saying.

Billy: OK, really, I don’t get how you got lost? He’s obviously transported into a spaceship, right? You got that, right?

Mandy: Yes. I mean. I get it. And correct me if I’m wrong but there’s a blink, right, like a difference in time between where he was and planetary time, right?

Billy: Yes, I believe there was a difference in time.

Billy: Ok, so continuing on with the explanations… the Bleed is the space between dimensions and this “shiftship” was designed to “sail” in it. And the artifact that Wilder steps on and the Drummer jumps all over like a kindergartner is called a “travelstone”, they’re kind of like homing beacons.

Mandy: So are is the ship part of the mechanism to sort of maintain order between the universes?

Billy: What now?

Mandy: I’m not being confused very well… what’s the point of the transport things that travel in the bleed?

Billy: Well, what’s the point of ships that travel the seven seas? Same thing. Think of the Bleed as a massive, endless ocean.

Mandy: Yeah, okay. That makes sense.

Billy: So, the page with the ship crashing implies that this “accident” killed the dinosaurs? Cool, right?

Billy: Then the ship explains to Wilder that it needs human operators to fly. Then Wilder explains to Planetary that he needs to find six more people, willing to give up being human, to help him fly the shiftship back into the Bleed.

Mandy: And Jakita’s like NICE STORY. I WILL PUT IT IN MY SCRAP BOOK. And Snow’s like FUCK THAT. WE ARE HELPING.

Billy: Yeah. Jakita’s cold blooded, but I still wouldn’t kick her out of bed… though she’d probably kick my balls off, now that I think about it.

Billy: OH, I love Wilder’s origin story… there’s some nice “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” mixed in with some Captain Marvel. Pretty cool.

Billy: Just compare Marvel’s costume to Wilder’s.

Mandy: Okay. So this makes a little more sense.

Billy: Good, because this shiftship plays a huge role in the series, so you will see Wilder again… maybe three more times? Hey, are you asking yourself, “Where did the ship crash?”

Mandy: Yes.

Billy: I mean, they have to dig it up right? Them being archeologists and all.

Mandy: YES. GET A SHOVEL.

Billy: OMG! I have to cut this short, Dylan is being a monster right now!!! PUT THE COMICS DOWN!!! Oh, are you less confused? Did you have anymore questions?

Mandy: Why is he so hot?

Billy: …

Join us next Monday as we crack open one of the mysterious Planetary Guides and discover the glories and wonders of the 20th Century. If you haven’t read Planetary, you can pick up the trades at your local shop or order them online from Amazon.com at the following link:

Planetary Vol. 1: All Over the World and Other Stories

2 thoughts on “Series Review: Planetary #4

  1. Pingback: Series Review: Planetary #5 « read/RANT!

  2. Not only does Wilder look like Marvel, but the mysterious 4 that travelled into space are like an evil version of the Fantastic Four! Ever noticed?

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