review/RANT: Brightest Day #8

So at the start of the summer I stopped reading comic books. It wasn’t a concious decision. The first couple of weeks I was just too enthralled in FIFA madness (wtf U.S.A?) and I just kind of fell off the wagon. Anyway, I have started to catch up. I thought a cool opportunity resulting from playing catch up would be that I could read five straight consecutive issues of Brightest Day. To my incessant complaints that this series is borderline incoherent (not to mention st00pid) many have argued that it will read better in the trades. If this experiment is any indication… Nope. This story really makes no f!ing sense.

So after the riveting revelations of issue seven where our heroes discover their destinies (amongst which some of my favorites included: throw the boomerang, catch the boomerang, and eat a cheeseburger, oh and lets not forget find the side-kick that Geoff Johns made specifically for the upcoming Young Justice cartoon show) we find the Martian Manhunter hanging out with Miss Martian, Hawkman hanging out with the Thunder Cats, and Hawkgirl hanging out with her own Darth Vader. See you next week kids!

Wait, you ask; could that really be all? Well of course there’s also the innumerable retcons that we’ve all come to love and expect in any Geoff Johns comic book series, single issue, and at this rate individual page. There is this incoherent piece about some bridge to Thundera (or was it Thanagar? I can’t remember) which I swear was pulled straight out of lost:

someone please explain this to me

There is what one could reasonably argue is a retcon to the Martian Manhunter retcon earlier in the series. And then there is something about Hawkgirl’s mother being a supervillian. That one almost shocked me except then I thought “who the hell is hawkgirl’s mother?”

I know these rants about Brightest Day would argue otherwise but I am not actually that anal about continuity. I have no problem with the idea of continuity being changed (even radically so) within the course of a narrative. What really offends me as a reader is when retconing takes the place of a narrative. For instance, the writers could have chosen (or do they lack the ability as writers?) to build this new Green Martian as a character and then use that character to push a plot. However a third of the way into this series and we know zero about this character. But that doesn’t matter because these hack writers have taken the shortcut of deploying the built in meaning deriving from J’onn’s origin as the sole survivor of Green Martian race and upsetting it by introducing the second Green Martian. My problem is not that there is a second Green Martian, my problem is that this character is not even a character but an abstract idea for a plot point.  The same goes for Hawkgirl. I feel that the authors are cheating their way into emotional significance by having Hath-set partner be Hawkgirl’s mother, which had absolutely no build up.

Final Grade: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐

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About YWz

Soldier of Fortune, Lover of Knowledge.

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