Review: Dark Avengers #2

Dark Avengers #2 (Choi Variant Cover Edition)

(*)

Because I review comics, every now and then I check out what others have to say about the books I read, especially if they have the ability to peruse them before I do. A sterling derivation for this is Line of Fire Reviews. A reviewer there I greatly admire, Paul Brian McCoy, has pointed out some devastating errors in this comic and I have to say, he’s right. You can find his review here. Because Mr. McCoy already did a great job criticizing this comic, using tools like research and logic (Tools I’m not fond of utilizing), I’ll take a moment to present an abridged version of my review. It stinks.

This comic is written for a 12-year-old, which is fine, as long as it has a Marvel Adventures tag somewhere on the cover. This, however, does not. In fact, it’s trying to be the edgy, macabre, and wickedly humorous  romp that Ellis’ Thunderbolts was. I’m faced with a conundrum. I adore Deodato’s art and fancy half of the Dark Avengers’ roster. Conversely, this comic contains repetitive nonsense like  “Gagagoo! Gadapoo!”, time paradoxes, and the De-evolution of Morgana Le Fay, she’s an enraged scorned crazy-girl! Women, can’t live with ’em, eh Bendis? So, do I continue reading this book with my brain turned off, or do I face the sad truth that Ellis’ Thunderbolts are long gone? I think it’s time to leave the party before the drunk shoots somebody.

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8 thoughts on “Review: Dark Avengers #2

  1. Wow. I loved the issue. I was never trying to take Dark Avengers seriously. It seems like such a bad idea (in the same way that the Thunderbolts were a horrible idea in 616 that worked greatly as a comic in our world) that falling apart is half the fun. And already, they don’t work. As a team, they are horrible. They don’t work together at all and they just try and do things by themselves. I read McCoy’s review, and honestly, most of his points were, well, pointless. Complaining about how fast they traveled is fairly irrelevant when you have speeds like they do in the comic world. Has he complained about Silver Surfer not dodging something or Nova not dodging something? Because they travel through space very quickly, with travel between planets in, what, days? When on Earth, they travel so much slower in between places. The Sentry threw Xorn into the sun, right? Let’s say it took him 30 seconds to get there (I think I am being lenient). That means that he traveled at approximately 4.98 x10^9 m/s. When you compare the speed of light at 3×10^8 m/s, well… But, you know what. It is comic books. People travel at ridiculous speeds all the time.
    Time travel doesn’t have to make sense. If anything, I think Bendis is mocking time travel and how people travel through time. Time travel brings up so many paradoxes, that to think about it logically is pointless. Who cares? It isn’t real, and can’t be real, and while ridiculous, who cares? Nothing with time travel ever makes sense, no matter how it’s done. This might be worse than others, but, again, that really doesn’t matter.
    I don’t know about Morgana from before, so I won’t touch on it, but with recruiting from HYDRA, who cares? He’s a villain, and as such, he does villainous things. In working in tandem with how HYDRA is behind SHIELD or whatever (I don’t know, nor care), well, who cares? Fury discovered that in Secret Warriors or whatever? Is it written by Bendis? If not, then he might have known to an extent at the time he was writing the issue, but not that much as to what is fully going on. If so, who cares? Again, HYDRA agents working with Osborn isn’t something that makes me upset, considering who his Avengers are.
    The repetitive magic makes sense (in that lots of shows and things with magic have you repeat a spell over and over, especially since they are battling back and forth with spells that are trying to break barriers and what not), and the demonic figures spewing nonsense like “Gagagoo! Gadapoo!” is slightly annoying, but pointless to complain about. They’re demons! They aren’t speaking English. For all I know, they are saying “Doom’s down! Let’s party!” over and over. Or, they use different inflection, and what “Gagagoo” means the next time is different from the first. Either way, say it with me, who cares? It is demons who aren’t important to the story saying nonsense for a few panels. It is unimportant.

    I guess my point is that the comic is just fun. Maybe they are trying to tote it as the big comic that is mainline continuity and the most serious comic out there. I don’t think so, but whatever. It is fun. Pure and simple. It is fun. I enjoyed reading it. It was amusing, with the interactions between the team. Also, it proved they aren’t afraid to just have Sentry rip someone’s head off, which was awesome. If you don’t like it, then that is your call, I guess. Still, I don’t think it was nearly as bad as you (or McCoy) said it was.

  2. Honestly, a necessitous part of our reaction as a reader is our threshold for tolerance. How many times did you say “who cares”? Imagine if you had that mind-set with every comic you read? I have a feeling your funds would be depleted due to your love of everything! Don’t worry; I’m sure we’re all guilty of such tendencies. I just find it amusing.

    McCoy’s criticisms were slightly excessive, but if you wanted to cognize all of this issue’s errors, his review informed you. This is why, when it came to my actual complaints, I targeted the dialogue (Mystical gibberish. What happened to the good ol’ “By the hoary hosts of hoggoth”?), time paradoxes (The lowest common denominator in writing. At least make it fun), and the degradation of Fay’s character (It’s bad enough that Bendis is copying Busiek’s run, but does he really have to portray a respectable villain that way). I’m all for having fun (Though I do treat comics as I do movies, as an art form, not an escapist medium), but the flaws smothered the enjoyment for me. I’m out.

    On a lighter note, I finally watched Hulk VS. I totally agree. The Thor segment was mediocre, but man, that Wolverine tale was a brutal, bloody, and hilarious romp! And because you’re a fan, I loved the slowmo “No! That was my favorite gun!” from the merc with a mouth. Why do I have a feeling that Wolverine: Origins will be worse than that 40-minute cartoon?

    While Deadpool is somewhat on topic, did you ever read Gail Simone’s run?

  3. Okay, the dialogue in magic, again, wasn’t bad. People are complaining about it, and I don’t get it. Why is someone saying “Seven rings has Raggador, indigo to deepest black, but Oshtur grant me something more, the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak” specifically more magical than “Poof!” or “Ralahunuti revelini maammosoa”? Sure, we can understand it as readers better in English, but it doesn’t make sense for it to necessarily be in English. Oh well, if it bothered you that much, I guess it makes sense to abandon it.

    I think my favorite part might be when Deadpool and Omega Red are preparing and he wants to shoot all the floating babies. Although, in watching it the first time, easily just Deadpool showing up and saying, “Logan, buddy! It’s me, Deadpool! I shot you!” at Comic-Con was amazing (and had me stunned for approximately 3 minutes while I contemplated that Deadpool was in it). I could look forward to Wolverine: Origins, but I know I’d be setting myself up for easy disappointment. If I go in, expecting it to be bad, I can’t be disappointed, because if it’s bad, I was expecting it, and if it’s good, then bonus! Wolverine: Origins has to try to appeal to everybody, as opposed to Hulk vs. Wolverine, which only has to appeal to fans (more so).

    I haven’t run Simone’s run, but want to. Every place I go, I check their back-issues for old Deadpool issues, and it is hard, because I have a fair amount of his older series, just in awkward amounts (like every other issue, and then none for 10 issues, 3 in a row, then more nothing). I’ll keep looking.

  4. I just brought up the magic again as a joke. “By the hoary hoasts of hoggoth” is hilarious and nostalgic to me. I have a problem with the issue’s dialogue in general. The “jokes” fall flat and, as you can tell, I’m really upset with the “No. No. No. You have to understand why you are being punished” because I’m Morgana Le Fay, the lovesick superbitch, bullshit. As to why others are upset, it’s probably because: it’s overused (There are entire pages of it), it’s gibberish (Not in English or based on any language), it sounds like Doom is ordering a Mimosa, and you have to remember that mystical crap always looks stupider in print. It’s one thing to have Sir Ian McKellen dramatically shouting words at an impressive CGI monster, and quite another to have the babble dully read on the page. See, I can defend Dark Avengers. 🙂

    Yeah, low expectations are probably the way to go with any comic book movie. It’s a bit hard, considering we saw two of the best last year, but if you want to actually like Wolverine, start thinking it’ll be terrible. Did you see those 3 TV spots? Um…here they are:

    http://www.collider.com/entertainment/news/article.asp/aid/10991/tcid/1

    Damn that took a long time to find! You better enjoy them! Anyway, the movie looks even worse after seeing those. 😉

    I’m not sure why Marvel doesn’t have a trade of those Deadpool issues. Perhaps it’s due to Simone’s abandonment? She works for the enemy now. Simone also wrote some Agent X (Deadpool) issues too and those are easier to find, and good.

  5. I have most of the Agent X series, and I love it. I really want more of the old school Deadpool, and am so sad they haven’t really put it into volumes yet.

    The ads make me confused and pissed, although I am trying to stay calm. See, the last one is so bittersweet. I think Ryan Reynolds could pull off Deadpool, and when he says, “Manicure?” it is funny, but he still isn’t scarred. I really want him scarred and just wearing a full body suit with mask, as opposed to what he is wearing there, or with that and the scarring. The scarring is important, I feel, and without it, he really isn’t the same. The first two are basically saying it is going to be Origin/Weapon X (the storylines), where Sabretooth is always calling him Jimmy. I think they are trying to put too much into this movie. They want to show almost his entire past. When someone is hundreds of years old, with lots of interesting things in their past, and you want to show all of it, that could easily get very awkward. I find it really hard not to get excited over Deadpool, but I am trying, because I still fear for Deadpool in ithe movie.

  6. Did you like Ryan Reynolds in Blade 3? Because I can almost guarantee you, he’ll play pretty much the same character. Now, since the movie is somewhat referencing comics, I’d say the best you can hope for is that Deadpool will be scarred and masked by the end of the film. Sequel baby! I’m more interested in whether that diamond blonde is Emma Frost. She’s one of my favorite characters. So I hope they use her well. I doubt it.

    I like that we’re getting Weapon X and Origin. I enjoyed both of those stories, especially the former, immensely. That’s part of the reason why I loved Hulk VS. Wolverine so much, a lot of that was shot for shot Weapon X. Having said that, it looks like the movie is pissing all over Origin. What was great about Origin was that the characters represented future favorites without being them. The mysteries helped as well.

    Is Dog Sabretooth? Are Dog and James brothers? What’s up with James’ possible brother? Is he a mutant? Is he Sabretooth? There was also a refreshing Shakespearean slant on the whole series. It’s one of the few times I enjoyed Paul Jenkins’ writing. But in the movie, it looks like Dog is Sabretooth. They’re brothers. Rose is out of the picture. And Sabretooth and Wolverine are friends for hundreds of years. That’s lame.

    So yes, from the trailers, it looks like we’ll see Civil War, World War I, World War II, and Weapon X. That’s a bit much. Will Wolverine: Origins bite off more than it can chew like the last X-Men movie? All signs point to yes.

  7. I never saw Blade 2 or Blade 3, so I wouldn’t know. From what I’ve seen of Ryan Reynolds, though, I still think he could make a good Deadpool. I believe that is Emma, since she is supposed to be in the movie (according to lots of things saying she is in it). I never liked Emma (having read Dark Phoenix Saga, and seeing her as a villain, and I’ve never quite gotten over that), but she is interesting, and I doubt she is going to be interesting in the same way in this.

    Yeah, I guess it is kind of awkward the way they are doing Origin in the movie. I guess I am just semi-glad that they are at least referencing it. Still, I feel the movie is trying to do too much, like you said. Man, I just don’t feel excited about it (which is good).

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