Bruce Castle Presents: Secret Dark Reign – Spoilers!

Secret Six #4

Secret Six #4 (****1/2)

You know I love this book right? Well, I do. Please buy this book! Isn’t that cover awesome? I’ve said this before too, but Nicola Scott kicks ass! Our awesome villains start going crazy about this “Get out of Hell free” card. And why wouldn’t they? They’re dysfunctional enough without this. We still don’t know what terrible thing happened to Catman do we? Something about the cats, but this really screwed him up! Well, I guess he was already screwed up but you know. Junior rides around in a potato sack? What the hell is this thing?  Oh and he’s Catholic too, great. My father is Catholic so I’m well aware of all the Catholic bashing in entertainment. Ow dude! Junior beats the hell out of Bane! Will he die? Probably not. Remember in the first issue when that guy answered “They die” and then got killed? Well this new reformed Bane will probably answer “I die” so he might live? A lot of crazy fighting and arms getting ripped off at the end. Oh and Cheshire makes her poisonous return! This book is so fun!

Secret Invasion Dark Reign

Secret Invasion: Dark Reign #1 (*1/2)

Look at that cover. Loki’s boobs are as big as or bigger than Emma Frost’s now? Fucking Straczynski! Well, I guess that’s Maleev, but I stand by my Straczynski hate. Ok, since I’m on the subject of the art, let’s talk about it. I think Alex Maleev is a lot like Steve Dillon. I consider myself a fan of Dillon as I do of Maleev, but sometimes their art just does not work. Dillon should stay away from superhero books and so should and Maleev. Ok, Daredevil and Punisher could be called superheroes, but you know what I mean. Maleev’s art is borderline ugly here. Osborn’s hair is screwed up and Emma just looks like some blonde. She doesn’t even look that pretty. These are defining characteristics of these characters. Oh and Namor looks like Bendis. Sorry Maleev, but you should probably stick to noir. Ok, art is out of the way. What about the story? Well, this is Bendis’ classic “Talky Room”. A bunch of costumed characters get together and talk. So is this supervillains ruling the world? Not really, which is probably a good thing. It’s basically a crazy man trying to keep a leash on some villains and that man will most likely implode because of it. But as the comic itself asks, “but if he doesn’t?” And Doom answers, “Then we’ll have a battle on our hands the likes of which this dimension has never seen.” So will this be Marvel’s big new summer event of 2009? I don’t know, but if it is, can someone other than Bendis write it? Please? But that’s not the only thing in this issue. One of the framing stories involves Emma crying for Kitty. Ok, Emma is wracked with grief. That makes sense, but shouldn’t this be in an X-book? The other story involves Norman killing Swordsman. This DEFINITELY should have been in the Thunderbolts book. I get that Bendis wanted to show Norman’s madness, but that could have easily been solved by a Goblin freakout. This is just Bendis stealing all the Marvel thunder. “No we have to have a death in this book to make it important”, fuck you Bendis! Wow, I started this review at three stars but I got increasingly more upset. I really didn’t like this issue.

10 thoughts on “Bruce Castle Presents: Secret Dark Reign – Spoilers!

  1. Yay, we agree on that Dillon and Maleev don’t work! Sure, I don’t like them in general, but we can agree that neither of them should do superhero comics. That was one of my biggest complaints about this issue. Otherwise, yeah, I pretty much have to agree, although I still enjoyed it to an extent. Over all, I’d say I liked it, although there was a lot I didn’t like about it. The Kitty thing is probably what made me like it, as Kitty Pryde is one of my favorite characters, and it was nice to see her referenced.

  2. As I read the Dark Reign issue, I was only thinking one thought: How the heck can someone mess up the decades-old Osborn hair?

    It’s pretty much the only physical trait that distinguishes Norman from a generic businessman.

  3. I’m glad you guys agree with me about Osborn. As I said, Norman, Namor and even Emma didn’t look right. Oh and bad news Pi, Maleev is going to be ongoing on the new Spider-Woman series. And knowing Bendis, Alex will be on that book for a long time. Maybe you can afford the four dollar NA. 🙂

    @Seventh: Right? I love it! I tried to get one of my best friends into the book and he flipped through it and said he hated the art. Doesn’t that suck? Oh well, for the rest of us who have eyes, this book rules!

  4. Well, I was never going to pick up the Spider-Woman series in the first place, so no big loss for me there.

    Well, all of you have convinced me to get the first volume of Secret Six when it comes out. Making me buy more things. Darn you!

  5. Hopefully you’ll like it man. I don’t think I’ve heard any negative opinions yet. Wow, how can that be?

    Anyway, hopefully that can be your new token DC book.

  6. I just cannot see Dormammu sitting down at a table with any of these characters – except maybe Loki, and he betrayed Loki during the Avengers/Defenders “Evil Eye” story, so I can’t see Loki wanting to get too close to him. Dormammu is somewhere near/on the level of Odin or Zeus and thus seriously unbalances the group. Norman Osborn and Emma Frost might as well not even be there. I’m quite frankly sick of all this ‘messing up’ the Marvel Universe with crappy ideas, poor art, and lame stories. I love the older back issues, but the recent stuff from Marvel is just not impressing me much.

  7. Pingback: Bruce Castle Presents: Bendis vs. Loeb - Spoilers! « read/RANT!

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