DC Solicitations for August + Commentary

May 19, 2009

Same drill as always.  This is the newly released DC solicitations “enhanced” by my colorful commentary.  No deeper meaning.  Just a few cheers and jeers.  And hopefully a funny line or two.

BLACKEST NIGHT #2
Blackest Night 2

Written by Geoff Johns
Art and cover by Ivan Reis

The event of the summer continues! The dead rise across the DC Universe, bringing terror and darkness with them. What are the Black Lanterns? What do they want? Will Earth’s greatest heroes survive long enough to find out – or will they join the Black Lantern Corps?

Neither the art nor the cover tell me anything I didn’t already know.  But then, DC really doesn’t have to sell anyone on Blackest Night at this point.  A lot of fans get down right voilent if you suggest this will be anything less than the greatest story ever told.

BLACKEST NIGHT: BATMAN #1
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Written by Peter J. Tomasi
Art by Adrian Saef & John Dell

Deadman can’t shut out the cries of the dead rising as he comes to the aid of the new Batman. It’s just in time, too, as the duo face a circus of zombies including the Black Lantern Flying Graysons!

Just what we need.  More Blackest Night and more Batman.  DC wasn’t putting out enough Batbooks, so I’m glad Blackest Night has provided a way to spotlight him.  And *spoiler aler* if Dick Grayson isn’t the new Batman, why on earth would the Flying Graysons be appearing in this book? 

By the way, am I the only one who thinks Flying Grayson zombies just sound stupid?

Also, while I like Tomasi, this seems like a piece of crap tie-in like Final Crisis: Requiem.  Tomasi doesn’t seem to have the best luck with tie-ins.

BLACKEST NIGHT: SUPERMAN #1
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Written by James Robinson
Art and cover by Eddy Barrows & Ruy Jose

Black Lantern Superman has unearthed Pa Kent’s grave! But that’s only the beginning of the horrifying things he’s about to unleash on an unsuspecting Smallville.

Ew.  Is this really what we’ve come to, DC?  Digging up Pa Kent.  I sure hope the main story is better than these tie-ins.

BLACKEST NIGHT: TITANS #1
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Written by J.T. Krul
Art and cover by Ed Benes & Rob Hunter

    Black Lantern Titans are descending together onto Titans Island! Will the Titans be prepared to fight off their deceased allies? And how can Beast Boy not lose his heart to Black Lantern Terra?

If I were Beast Boy, I don’t think I’d have too much trouble resistinng Terra’s advances considering the fact that she’s a freaking zombie!  Come on, Beast Boy!  What is wrong with you?

If all the dead Titans come back, the DCU is in a whole heap of trouble.  For the last several years, DC has done nothing but kill and maim Titans.  Sometimes, DC creates Titans for the sole purpose of killing them.  (RIP Power Boy.  No, seriously.  Don’t come back.)

GREEN LANTERN #45

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Written by Geoff Johns
Art and cover by Doug Mahnke & Christian Alamy

    BLACKEST NIGHT continues! The Black Lanterns descend on all the Corps throughout the universe! Sinestro’s assault on the Star Sapphires’ homeworld of Zamaron is interrupted by another Sinestro Corps – one made up of those who died during the Sinestro Corps War! And while the War of Light flickers, deep in the darkness of space, John Stewart comes face-to-face with his deceased wife – and longtime Green Lantern – Katma Tui.

Personally, I really couldn’t care less about Katma Tui, but if John Stewart gets the spotlight for an issue, I’m all for it. 

Pointless question: If this other Sinestro Corps consists of “those who died during the Sinestro Corps War”, wouldn’t they be Black Lanterns?

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #39

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Written by Peter J. Tomasi
Art and cover by Patrick Gleason & Rebecca Buchman

    Just when things couldn’t look any darker after the death and chaos of the Sciencell riot, Blackest Night descends on Oa! The black rings tear into the planet and the Lantern Crypt causing all the dead Corps members to rise and wreak havoc as a new and deadlier battle threatens to engulf not only the Corps, but the Universe itself!

Is it just me, or did the first 6 books in this month’s solicitations have pretty much the same plot?  I’m running out of things to say (and that never happens!).  I guess this is a great month for those of you who like to see zombie superheroes.  Maybe next, the DC Universe can be invaded by Skrulls.

FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH: RUN! #4

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Written by Matthew Sturges
Art by Freddie E. Williams II

    In this issue, someone dies! Actually, in this issue, tons of people die! If you thought RUN! was full of trashy humor and unnecessary violence before this issue – you ain’t seen nothing yet! We cause more property damage and hideous disfigurement in the first half of this issue than any other comic you’ll read this year (besides RUN! #5 and #6, because those are pretty ridiculous too). Join in the fun!

Join the fun?  Does this sound like fun to anybody?  Power Girl #1 was fun.  This sounds like everything I hate about DC Comics these days.  No thanks!

There’s also three other Final Crisis Aftermath series trudging along.  Maybe Infinite Crisis would have been a better name.  This thing just won’t end!

WEDNESDAY COMICS #5-8

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Not much to say here.  Wednesday Comics still looks like the best idea anyone’s had in a long time.  I sure hope the excution is there.

BATMAN: WIDENING GYRE #1

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Once again, Kevin Smith – the fan-favorite creator behind GREEN ARROW and Daredevil – teams up with Walter Flanagan – the artist on the acclaimed series BATMAN: CACOPHONY – for an all-new adventure starring The Caped Crusader. The stakes are high as Batman encounters a new vigilante under his wing amidst what Smith describes as a “backdrop of romance, intrigue, and geek-bait guest stars galore.” Trust us when we say that it’s as awesome as it sounds.

Oh goodie.  More Batman.  Glad to see someone’s giving him a chance.

Kevin Smith is okay if you like late comic books filled with poop jokes. 

BATGIRL #1

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Written by Bryan Q. Miller
Art by Lee Garbett & Trevor Scott

    In the wake of “Batman R.I.P.” and BATTLE FOR THE COWL, a new heroine has emerged in Gotham City, and as she begins her nocturnal crusade to take back the night, she will truly learn what it means to wear the mantle of the Bat. But who is this young woman, and why has she donned the cape and cowl?

Look, I don’t really care who Batgirl is.  There was nothing wrong with Cassandra Cain until DC decided to crap all over her.  But if they replace her with Spoiler or Misfit or someone else who is, you know, a girl… I’m fine with that.

What I don’t want to see happen is for Barbara Gordon to return to the role.  She’s outgrown it.  You don’t have to turn the clock back on everything, DC.  Let Babs remain Oracle!

(And put her in a good book instead of that trashy Battle for the Cowl tie-in.)

BATMAN AND ROBIN #3

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Written by Grant Morrison
Art and cover by Frank Quitely

    “Batman Reborn” concludes the explosive reteaming of Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely (ALL-STAR SUPERMAN, WE3, New X-Men)! Witness Batman and Robin’s final showdown against Professor Pyg and the Circus of Strange! The future looks bright for the new Dynamic Duo as they prove themselves in battle, but lurking in the shadows is a mysterious red-hooded vigilante. Also, the origin of Scarlet!

So, Frank’s only doing 3 issues?  Bummer.

I’m assuming this solicit will make more sense once I’ve read an issue or two of Batman and Robin.  Then again, it’s Grant Morrsion.  So, maybe not.

DETECTIVE COMICS #856
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Written by Greg Rucka
Art by JH Williams III; co-feature art by Cully Hamner

    “Elegy” part 3 of 4! Batwoman unites with an unlikely ally to momentarily defeat the fairytale villain known as Alice. But when Kate is forced to attend a high society event, she soon learns that her worlds are colliding as Alice’s plans for Gotham’s elite put Kate’s father directly in harm’s way.
    Plus, in the next part of The Question co-feature, writer Greg Rucka and artist Cully Hamner bring Renee’s search for a missing girl to new depths when The Question is trapped inside a sinking car. Will her life and her leads end up at the bottom of the river?

I am moderately excited for this book.  That JH Williams art is a knock-out.  And I’m confident Rucka will deliver.  I’m not the biggest fan of Batwoman or Renee Montoya (that would be Seventh Soldier) but I hope I will be by the end of this storyline.

BATMAN #689
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Written by Judd Winick
Art by Mark Bagley & Rob Hunter

    “Long Shadows” continues! Batman forges ahead in his battle to retrieve the escapees from Arkham Asylum, while Two-Face begins a ground war of his own. Elsewhere, Penguin wants to become Gotham City’s new king of crime, but to do so he has to make a deal with the devil.

Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka and Judd Winick.  Which of these three is not like the others?

Winick, please take this chance to redeem yourself.  I hate the hack you’ve become.  Please never write Titans again.  Yours truly, Lebeau.

BATMAN: STREETS OF GOTHAM #3
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Written by Paul Dini; co-feature written by Marc Andreyko
Art by Dustin Nguyen & Derek Fridolfs; co-feature art by Georges Jeanty & Karl Story

    Bruce Wayne is dead…long live Bruce Wayne! Gotham’s favorite son has miraculously returned, promising to lead his city into a new golden age. But while Wayne devotes his limitless fortune to rebuilding Gotham City, he fights violent opposition from Batman, Robin and a host of DC Universe heroes!
    And in the Manhunter co-feature, now that Manhunter has found the previous DA’s killer – or, rather, the killer has found her – what is she going to do about it? Bringing the killer in for a trial may not result in the justice Kate’s been dreaming of.  But is she ready to kill for justice so soon after a fresh start in Gotham?

This looks like Dini’s follow-up to Heart of Hush.  So, I’ll give it a look.  I followed Manhunter casually.  So, I look forward to checking out the co-feature too.

GOTHAM CITY SIRENS #3

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Written by Paul Dini
Art and cover by Guillem March
    With their uneasy alliance in place, the sirens encounter trouble in the form of the mysteriously returned Bruce Wayne. He’s dazzling, he’s dangerous and he’s got his sights set on Harley Quinn! Has romance sparked between these two long-time enemies – or is Wayne playing a more sinister game?

As I said last month, I’ve got some misgivings about GC Sirens.  I’m giving you three issues, Dini.  Don’t pull any of that Countdown crap this time!

OUTSIDERS #21
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Written by Peter J. Tomasi
Art by Fernando Pasarin

    “The Hunting” begins here! With Arkham Asylum’s most dangerous inmates running free, The Outsiders are charged with returning them to Gotham City – by whatever means necessary. Batman and Alfred split up the team in order to track down Killer Croc, Mr. Freeze and Clayface before the rogues kill again!

Batman RIP totally derailed this book for me.  It’s not that I minded seeing Batman leave the team.  But I wanted to read about Batgirl stepping up to lead the team.  Instead, everyone cried about how they couldn’t possibly continue without Batman.  which is ridiculous considering how many times Batman has left the Outsiders in the past.

The problem is, I have no interest in this line-up.  Still, I like Tomasi okay.  So maybe I’ll give this issue a chance.  If anyone is actually reading this book, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

RED ROBIN #3
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Written by Christopher Yost
Art by Ramon Bachs

    “The Grail” part 3 of 4! “Batman Reborn” continues, but is Red Robin’s quest to find Bruce Wayne at an end? Because in a German museum, answers await. But to get to those answers, Red Robin has to go through the Global Guardian known as the Wild Huntsman. Making matters worse, Red Robin’s got an unwanted ally – Ra’s al Ghul! Also, discover what happened in the days after BATTLE FOR THE COWL?

Rounding out the umpteen dozen Batman books DC is offering this month is Red Robin.  And once again it just looks awful.  It’s like DC decided to round up all the worst Batman-related ideas of the last couple of years and put them in one book.  Let’s never mention Battle for the Cowl again, okay DC?

ADVENTURE COMICS #1

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Written by Geoff Johns
Art by Francis Manapul, co-feature art by Clayton Henry

    It’s the return of one of DC Comics’ longest running books and one of its greatest modern-day heroes – Conner Kent! In our first heroic issue, Superboy can’t wait to jump back into his life – but which life will it be? With a clarity he’s never had before, Conner makes a beeline for the greatest place on Earth…Smallville?
    Plus, in the wake of FINAL CRISIS: LEGION OF THREE WORLDS, Starman heads off on an all-new mission in the present. And it’s one that will not only impact Superboy, but the future of the DC Universe itself. Fortunately, the off-kilter Legionnaire won’t be dong it alone! And in the upcoming months of ADVENTURE COMICS look for Lex Luthor! Brainiac! Lightning Lad! Superboy’s pal Simple Simon! Sun Boy and Polar Boy! Ultra, the Multi Alien! Wonder Girl! Black Lantern Alexander Luthor! And many, many more new and familiar faces!

I’m sick of death and resurection in the DCU.  But I am genuinely excited to see Johns bring back Conner – even if he was the one who killed him off in the first place.  Yeah, Johns pretty much completely changed Conner when he got a hold of him in Titans.  But, I’m stil a fan of the character.  It’s good to have him back.  And I enjoyed Johns’ take on Starman in JSA.  So, this is a win-win for me.

But I don’t really want to see Alexander Luthor again.  Ever.  Not even as a zombie.  Actually, especially not as a zombie.

SUPERMAN SECRET FILES 2009 #1

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Written by Sterling Gates, Geoff Johns, James Robinson and Greg Rucka
Art by Pete Woods, Jamal Igle, Renato Guedes, Julián López and various

    There’s never been a better (or busier) time to be a Superman fan! With so many new characters and locations to keep track of, DC brings readers the definitive guide to the ever-expanding world of Superman. Here you will get profiles of characters like Nightwing and Flamebird, General Zod, Supergirl, Mon-El and more, plus maps of locations such as New Krypton’s Kandor and Metropolis.
    Also included is a bittersweet story about the friendship of Supergirl and Flamebird, and a story revealing the dark legacy of Pete Ross’ brief time as President of the United States. Plus, a week in the life of Science Cops Billi Harper and Jonathan (Mon-El) Kent. This SECRET FILES issue serves as an excellent primer to this month’s “Codename: Patriot” crossover in the Superman titles, so don’t miss out!

So, you need a scorecard to keep track of what’s going on in the Superman books these days?  Not exactly a trong selling point, guys.  Secret Files books are rarely more than $5 filler material.  I strongly doubt this will be any different.

SUPERMAN ANNUAL #14

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Written by James Robinson
Art by Javier Pina

    Since Superman freed him from the Phantom Zone, Mon-El has spent all his time learning about Earth and its diverse cultures. But how much does he really know about Daxam, the homeworld he fled years ago? A gift from the Legionnaire Tellus allows Mon-El to explore the ancient history of Daxam – from its founding as a Kryptonian colony to its connection to the Mayans of Earth to its bloody civil war. Join Mon-El as he discovers that the planet he always believed to be peaceful and dull is actually anything but.

And the Superman-related filler continues.  At least it’s a buck cheaper than the Secret Files book. 

SUPERMAN: WORLD OF NEW KRYPTON #6
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Written by Greg Rucka & James Robinson
Art by Pete Woods

    It’s chaos in Kandor as the 4-part “Codename: Patriot” storyline kicks off here and runs through the August Superman titles! Someone has been shot and Superman will stop at nothing to find the culprit! But when the shooter flees to Earth, can Superman stop him in time to prevent making the two planets even more hostile toward each other? Continued in ACTION COMICS #880!

As the only Superman book to actually feature Superman these days, World of New Krypton has been the most reliably good read of the bunch.  I’m in for all 12 issues.

 ACTION COMICS #880

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Written by Greg Rucka; co-feature written by James Robinson & Rucka
Art by Julián López; co-feature art by CAFU

    “Codename: Patriot” part 2! Nightwing and Flamebird are hot on the trail of the psycho sleeper agents Nadira and Az-Rel when the heroes run into another deadly duo – Reactron and Metallo! What do these two want and how does it tie in with General Lane’s plans? Meanwhile, Superman and Supergirl arrive on Earth searching for the shooter – but will their actions here cause more harm than good? Continued in SUPERGIRL #44!
    And in part 2 of the new co-feature, Captain Atom’s memory is falling apart right in the heat of battle – can he keep it together without annihilating an entire town? Luckily a deadly new player is about to take that choice out of his hands – permanently!

In for a penny, in for a pound.  I’m sure I’ll read all 4 parts of “Codename: Patriot”.  Although Action is teetering on the edge of losing me.  Check out Seventh Soldier’s review of the last issue here.  He raises a lot of good points. 

Also, I’m looking forward to seeing Rucka and Robinson redeem Captain Atom.  He’s on the short list of characters who desperately need to be rehabbed.

SUPERGIRL #44
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Written by Sterling Gates
Art by Jamal Igle
    “Codename: Patriot” part 3! It’s Supergirl and Mon-El versus Nightwing and Flamebird! Find out what happens when the Girl of Steel has to face off against Flamebird, one of her oldest and dearest friends! At Project 7734, General Lane puts the next part of his plan into action – with the help of the man known as Atlas. Concluded in SUPERMAN #691!

Yay, Supergirl!  After years of being the worst book DC was publishing, you’re now one of the best.  This makes my currently unwritten list of books you should be reading.  I’m going to have to write that list sometime…

SUPERMAN #691

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Lane wants…al! Except one key player is missing – Superman! He has to stop the shooter from taking yet another course of action that would cause the situation between Earth and New Krypton to grow exponentially worse. Which, of course, is just what GenerSuperfans chapter of “Codename: Patriot”! What are the stakes, and who are the players? Everything and everyone, al    It’s a slam-bang, knockdown epic fight in the sewers of Metropolis in this fourth and finish.

Superman is the one Superman book I’ve kind of lost track of.  Mon-El and Guardian just aren’t draws for me.  I plan to jump back on this book sometime, but I say that every month.  Unless Codename: Patriot sucks, I’m sure I’ll be following the conclussion here.

SUPERMAN’S PAL, JIMMY OLSEN SPECIAL #2

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Written by James Robinson
Art by Matt Camp

    Jimmy Olsen has put all the pieces together regarding the mysterious Project 7734, and it’s worse than he imagined. With The Man of Steel temporarily out of the picture, though, it’s all up to Superman’s Pal to take action. Thankfully he has the help of Mon-El and Steel’s niece Natasha Irons – but will they be enough to defeat Codename: Assassin?

I didn’t read last year’s Jimmy Olsen special.  But everyone I know who did read it, hated it.  I was warned against it very strongly.  The phrase “biggest waste of money” was used a lot.  Kind of hard to believe they came back for seconds.

THE RED CIRCLE

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J. Michael Straczynski dives into the DC Universe at last – and he’s bringing four of the finest heroes of the Golden and Silver Ages with him!
    Completely reimagined for the modern world from their original appearances in Archie/MLJ publications, these four heroes will show you a side of the DC Universe you’ve never seen before!

I like this idea on paper.  I don’t know the first thing about the Red Circle characters.  But I’m all for having some new blood in the DCU – assuming DC treats them right.

I’m not the biggest JMS fan, but he’s a capable writer.  He’s obviously investing a lot in this project.  Hopefully he’s the right guy for the job.

I figure this has to turn out better than when Marvel integrated the Ultraverse into the Mavel Universe, right?

DOOM PATROL #1

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Written by Keith Giffen; co-feature written by Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis
Art by Matthew Clark; co-feature art by Kevin Maguire
Cover by Matthew Clark
Men today?al for just under four American dollars. So why not try some Doom Patrol with a side order of Metbookery team that brought you JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL! That’s 40 full pages of comic-ve Men, featuring the triumphant return of the creatial, the Meteverymen al and art by Matthew Clark! Whether you think you know ‘em or you wouldn’t know ‘em if they bit you on the behind, this Doom Patrol’s for you! But that’s not all! Read all the way to the back cover for the all-new adventures of those elementGiffen    Come one, come all! The world’s strangest Super Heroes are back, and they brought those robot guys along with ‘em! Thrill to the strange adventures of the Doom Patrol, with script by Keith.

Doom Patrol and Metal Men are both DC concepts I’ve just never gotten into.  I’ve wanted to, but they’ve never clicked for me.  This creative team seems like as good a team as any to change that.  So, sign me up!

BOOSTER GOLD #23

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Written by Dan Jurgens; co-feature written by Matthew Sturges
Art and cover by Dan Jurgens & Norm Rapmund; co-feature art by Mike Norton
    “Day of Death” continues! Booster Gold reveals the Black Beetle’s plan to wipe out the entire JLA by going after their most incompetent former member – Booster Gold! Plus, Blue Beetle comes face to face with the mad scientist who created the robot army that’s destroying Texas!

Ah, Booster.  I’ve been a bad fan.  I promised not to abandon you when Geoff Johns left the book and then I totally did.  I’ll be back.  I promise!  But then, you’ve heard that before.  I have issue 20 at home.  I just haven’t read it yet.  But I look forward to touching base with you again soon, old friend.

THE FLASH: REBIRTH #5

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Written by Geoff Johns
Art and covers by Ethan Van Sciver
    The greatest threat to face the Flash Family in decades stands revealed! A new hero will step into an old speedster’s boots! And Barry Allen will make the ultimate sacrifice: his life! Oh yeah, you read that right, but you’ll never believe just what it means! They always say nothing will ever be the same, but trust us, this one will rewrite the history books!

Yeah, you brought Barry Allen back just to kill him all over again.  Pull the other one, DC!

The first two issues of this series have me feeling underwhelmed. Read my review of issue 2 here.  I’m not sure why they bothered bringing Barry back if they were just going to retcon him beyond the point of being recognizable as Barry.  But then again, I don’t think Geoff Johns can stop himself.  The other day I saw him photoshopping Hal Jordan into my wedding pictures.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #36
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Written by Len Wein
Art by José Luis & J.P. Mayer

    In part 2 of the 3-part “Royal Flush” arc, it’s the Justice Society of America villain Roulette vs. the JLA’s old foe, Amos Fortune. And the stakes are high as the two baddies pit the JLA against itself!

Man, this book just stinks on toast these days.  After reading McDuffie’s complaints about editorial mandates, I have stopped blaming him for the failure of JLA.  I’m now fully blaming DiDio.  And frankly, he seems to be taking the blame given his comments on “editorial mandates” in the recent Newsaram interview.

It doesn’t change anything.  The book is still a snorefest.  Hey, waitaminute!  Is that Plastic Man on the cover?  Okay, I’ll stick around a little while longer!

JUSTICE LEAGUE: CRY FOR JUSTICE #2

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Written by James Robinson
Art and cover Mauro Cascioli
    The team continues its proactive hunt for justice as the trail leads to an army of Super-Villains. But the big bad may be deadlier than all of the new team combined…

The art looks fantastic!  The story actually sounds pretty lousy.  And I am carrying a bit of a grudge against this book for helping to derail the regular JLA book.

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #30
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Written by Matthew Sturges & Bill Willingham
Art and cover by Jesus Merino
    “Bad Seed” part 2 of 5! The JSA feels the strain when battling a monstrous collection of villains who’ve mounted an all-out war on the team to collect a bounty placed on the head of everyone in the group except Stargirl! Tensions flare, and the group is forced to make a compromise in order to chase their fleeing enemies or return to the mansion to find out why Mister Terrific’s communications have suddenly stopped!

A bounty on everyone but Stargirl?  Is Geoff Johns behind this?

I’m committed to giving the new team on JSA a shot.  They’ve got big shoes to fill.

GREEN ARROW & BLACK CANARY #23
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Written by Andrew Kreisberg
Art by Mike Norton, Bill Sienkiewicz and Josef Rubinstein

    “Big Game” part 1 of 2! In the main feature, Green Arrow investigates a crime with all the earmarks of his old nemesis known as Big Game – which is made extra-mysterious by the fact that Cupid killed Big Game. And in this issue’s co-feature, Black Canary attempts to save her rival’s life when Cupid is attacked in police custody!

More Kreisberg!  More Cupid!  If Kreisberg can find a way to make Black Canary look stupid, he’ll manage to include everything I hate about his run in one issue!  (I have confidence he can do it.  He has yet to let me down since he took over the book.)

Seriously, Cupid’s in both the feature and the co-feature?  In the words of Charlie Brown, good grief!

I continue to petition DC for a new writer.

POWER GIRL #4
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Written by Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Art and cover by Amanda Conner

    “Space Girls Gone Wild!” part 1 of 2! A trio of sexy alien marauders hits Earth for the ultimate party. Unfortunately, by their standards, that means destroying it! Of course, it’s up to Power Girl to crash their festivities.

Power Girl 1 was just good, fun comics! Don’t believe me? Here’s a second opinion.   So, now that we’ve got that out of the way, read Power Girl!

SECRET SIX #12

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Written by Gail Simone
Art by Nicola Scott & Doug Hazlewood

    A crisis of conscience splits the Secret Six right down the middle and puts them on opposite sides of a horrific war involving Amazons led by a deluded Artemis! But that’s just the opening bout for the main event: Jeannette vs. Wonder Woman!

Best book DC is putting out.  Believe it!

TEEN TITANS #74

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Written by Bryan Q. Miller; co-feature written by Sean McKeever
Art by Joe Bennett & Jack Jadson; co-feature art by Yildiray Cinar & Júlio Ferreira

    The assault against the Teen Titans continues this issue as the team struggles to even the odds. Will they be defeated by a foe with superior leadership?
    And in the co-feature, Ravager is attacked in her arctic hideaway. Who wants her dead? That’s what she wants to know…

I want Ravager dead.  Does that count?

(I don’t really, but I am sick of Sean McKeever writing her.  Then again, I am sick of Sean McKeever.)

And how about that cover?  A casket with a Titans symbol on it.  How original!   Never seen DC kill a Teen Titan before.  When’s Geoff Johns bringing them back?

I kid the Teen Titans!  But only because I care.  Please make this book good enough that I can start reading it again!

TITANS #16

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Written by Christopher Yost
Art by Angel Unzueta & Wayne Faucher

    Why has Starfire been acting odd the past few issues? Turns out the warrior woman has major rage issues coming out of her recent breakup with Dick Grayson, the events of FINAL CRISIS and more. Her super-powerful emotions could very well rip the team apart!

Gee, I can’t remember ever reading a story in which Starfire was portrayed as a hothead…  Next thing you know, they will really shake things up by putting her huge orange hooters on the cover.  What are the odds we’ll get a three-page spread of Starfire naked?  (Yep, that phrase is the number one search result here at read/RANT.  So, I’m using it every month!)

At least Deathcrap is over.

WONDER WOMAN #35

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Written by Gail Simone
Art by Aaron Lopresti & Matt Ryan

    “Birds of Paradise” part 2 of 2! A gaggle of super-powered cage fighters find themselves in the worst possible place to be – on the bad side of Wonder Woman and Black Canary! Also, find out the final resolution between Diana and Nemesis along with much, much more!

Thanks, Gail.  The DCU was getting to be a hard place to be for this Black Canary fan.  Thanks for showing everyone else how it’s done.


DC March Solcitations

December 16, 2008

Last month, I did a write-up of the DC solicits largely because I was irritated with the blandness of them as well as some rumors I’d been hearing about the direction things were taking.  The article was fun to write and I got some good feedback.  So, I figured I’d try it again now that the March solicits are available.  This time, I haven’t read through the solicits first.  So, you’re getting my uncensored first impressions.  So, here goes: Read the rest of this entry »


Foilball’s Review Roundup #32 – THE GROANERS!

July 3, 2008

“Ah, I’m so lazy this week.” – Billy Zonos

Instead of doing the usual coverage of my twice-monthly DCBS shipment, I thought I’d split my remaining reviews into separate Roundups divided by overall quality: The Groaners, The Mediocres and The Gooders. This, obviously, is The Groaners. For those that have read the following books, yes, I feel your pain. For those that have not, yes, you dodged a bullet and your wallet thanks you.

Anna Mercury #2 (**): OH MY GOD. This one is awful. Forget every nice thing I said about the first issue. This series reads likes it’s based on an idea that’s 10 years old. You got me, Ellis. Oh, you bastard.

Dreamwar #3 (**1/2): Things are not looking up. Finally, we get some kind of explanation… well, no. We get Superman crying after Batman is killed, “Hal… Ollie’s dead. Why didn’t it matter to us? What are we doing?” Yeah, I’d love the answer to that one too. Please? Thanks. Oh, wait… Zealot killed Batman:

Justice League of America #22 (*): One. I hate the Amazo story from the opening arc. Two. I still hate it. Three. Why does every woman that Benes draws look like a total whore? Four. Black Canary serves it up fresh. Wait, that was awesome! Five. Red Tornado… don’t care!!!

The Programme #12 (-): To be honest, I skimmed it and then read the end. Of what I read, I have no idea what this book was supposed to be about and I don’t really care to ever know.

Runaways #30 (*1/2): It could have been worse. If you skip the first 15 or 16 pages, the wrap-up is kind of nice. My favorite/best part of this travesty? Finding out just how fucked up Nico has become.

Amazing Spider-Man #563 (**1/2): Note to Bob Gale – Stop telling cheesy jokes. This has been a message from your readership.

Superman #677 (*): Um, is this supposed to be in continuity? Superman talks like a fucking idiot! Misogyny? Check. Naiveté? Check. I mean, shit. The guy talks about his dog like a 7-year old would. How lame is this? I thought Robinson was this huge talent? And who the heck is this lame-ass Atlas character? GAH! I didn’t think it could get worse than the Busiek Superman run, but this one has shown me the error of my ways.

Superman/Batman #49 (**1/2): I’m surprised how bad this was as compared to the other 5 parts of this story. The end just didn’t work for me. I don’t buy Lana Lang trying to poison the earth with Kryptonite in order to force Supes to leave, never mind the fact that she has been behind this plot the whole time. This is just ludicrous to me. This story is definitely out of continuity. I don’t see Johns or Robinson paying much attention to this particular change in the Clark/Lana dynamic. Oh, but I did like that final page (with Batman inside that vault filled with all types of Kryptonite): Yep, Bats is a douchebag.

Trinity #3-4 (**): This book is boring. And ugly. Bagley doing DC characters just doesn’t look right. As much as I hate doing it, I’m dropping this book. Maybe if the plot picks up later, I’ll jump back in. For now, I’m just gonna ignore it. Sit it out like my pal, Superman.

The Ultimates #4 (*): I don’t know what bugs me more? The awful plot or the “ripped straight from cheesy movie” dialogue? “Come with me if you want to live.” Really? REALLY?!?!

Uncanny X-Men #499 (**1/2): I loved the first 4 parts… this was a jumbled mess. The A and B plot did not sync up well, every cutaway was painful, and the revelation that the mysterious hippie woman was Mastermind’s daughter was actually a non-event. Meanwhile, back in Russia… their faces: priceless.

Wolverine #66 (*): MOST OVER-RATED BOOK OF THE YEAR. Everyone is literally jacking off into each other’s mouths over this one… I just don’t see it. This book is atrocious. So atrocious, someone needs to give it a red power ring. DING. I mean, BIG DEAL, Millar is adapting “Unforgiven” and using Wolverine to play the role of William Muny. I don’t care! Why!?!? Why is this a good idea? (And I like westerns…)

X-Men: Legacy #213 (**): Are we ready for some super-retcons? So, let me break this one down: Mr. Sinister has a machine that in the event of his death will transfer his essence into the body of Professor X? 

And on that note… I’ll post The Mediocres tomorrow, maybe. Hey, it’s the Fourth of July, I may be busy. Like, drinking and stuff.


Two sets of Reviews

June 5, 2008

Some spoilers here for Secret Invasion and Kick-Ass

New Avengers #41

So we’re getting more info on the Savage Land, both in terms of the past and the present. Bendis continues to fill in the gaps from previous events in Skrully lore, this time concerning the machinations of the SHIELD agents (read: Skrulls) that were drilling the Savage Land for vibranium back in that first New Avengers arc so very long ago. The paranoia continues to rear its head, as the Marvel heroes are having serious trouble believing anyone is anything they say they are. This is predominantly a story about Shana, Ka-Zar and Zabu discovering the truth behind the intrusion into the Savage Land. It’s pretty average, and at times skirts the edge of mediocre, but it still gives us information that furthers the background of exactly what the Skrulls have been pulling off and for how long. It’s not great, but it’s certainly not bad. And most importantly, it serves a purpose. C+

The Incredible Hercules #117

Now this, on the other hand, is great. We’ve got our boy Herc being tricked by Athena, the Eternals and some other Gods of various religions and cultures and ending up leading a group of their champions off this mortal plane in an attempt to kill the gods of the Skrull pantheon and thus crush their morale and hopefully put a stop to the Invasion through different means. This is the perfect kind of crossover. It’s heavily tied into the mythos of Secret Invasion, but I don’t expect to see this plot thread show up in the main title. All the same, it sure doesn’t seem like it’s going to be a complete throwaway based on the strength of both this first issue and the overall concept of the arc. Sacred Invasion, indeed. Awesome, awesome stuff here. Pak and Van Lente continue to bring that great sense of buddy cop whimsy without sacrificing tension and seriousness, and the art continues to impress no matter who’s drawing it. I was giddy while I read this book. And that last page? Hoo boy! This gon’ be good. Best tie in we’ve seen yet, and there’s some pretty strong competition. A

Mighty Avengers #14

Yup, it’s about the Sentry. And I guess it kinda officially confirms that the Vision that got off the ship in the Savage Land was indeed a Skrull. The book makes perfect sense from the logical perspective of the Skrulls needing a plan to take out the Sentry, and that seems to pay off well. Yes, the whole idea of the Sentry is pretty tired right now (you want to read a good Sentry-centric issue? Silent War #5 is one of the better portrayals of Mr. Reynolds as someone that is capable of actual thought), and the idea of all the Skrull infiltrators meeting in a darkened warehouse while staying shapeshifted in their new identities is a little silly, but just like New Avengers, there is purpose here. And that’s all I really ask for. It adds to the mythos surrounding Secret Invasion, and continues the trend that the Skrulls have finally gotten their shit together and are going about things right this time. That ending was pretty crazy though. I know a lot of Sentry detractors probably groaned, but I still think the Void dichotomy can work if handled in the correct way. Let’s see if Bendis can pull it off. B-

Ms. Marvel #27

There is one thing that is seriously hurting this book. It’s still in the Infiltration stages of Secret Invasion (and hence still has the Infiltration banner instead of the standard one), and since we’re getting the third issue of the actual series in stores tomorrow, the momentum definitely isn’t there. You just want things to speed up and get to the full on Invasion at this point. It’s hard to give this one a fair shake due to this send of redundancy, which isn’t automatically the fault of Brian Reed or anyone else for that matter, but this arc seems to be lost in the shuffle, and I can’t pull myself away and look at it objectively. C

Trinity #1

I wasn’t planning on picking up this book. I hadn’t preordered it. No issues with the creators, mind you. I’ve loved Busiek ever since I picked up Marvels in trade, and I really dug Bagley’s work on the first six trades of Ultimate Spider-Man. This third weekly really seems set up to be a cash grab more than anything. 52 and Countdown each had a point. 52 bridged Infinite Crisis to One Year Later (or, at least it tried to). Countdown led us into Final Crisis (or, at least it tried to). But here we’ve just got another story about Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman that just happens to be a weekly for no truly adequate reason. That just presupposes cash grab. But I still picked up the first issue at the shop yesterday because I was intrigued. And you know what? It was pretty darned good. The hook is that Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman each share a dream (which is excellently viewed through the lens of each character’s individual experience) about some cosmic evil thingie and come together to fingure out just what’s going on. Busiek throws in a nice little interlude involving the Flash and his family taking down Clayface. Can’t really figure out the point of that, but it was a fun scene. Of course, the whole point of this weekly, and the fact that allows for Busiek and Bagley to write and draw the whole thing themselves, is the way it is split into the main story and a length backup written by Favian Nicieza and drawn by various folks. The first installment of the backup seems to work pretty well in acting like a mirror to the main title, where we see the creation of a trinity of villains that hope to counteract the work of their much better known heroic counterparts. We’ll have to see exactly how this is going to work, because the art suffers a bit, but it’s written well and also carries along the intriguing premise of the first half of the book in a surprising and interesting way. There is a lot of potential for this series. I worry a little that Busiek won’t be able to write 52 issues in a compressed period of time without getting a little loopy, I won’t be buying the singles due to cash restraints, but I look forward to reading the trades some day. B

Secret Invasion #3

Seems like we’re finally starting to leave the set up stages, which means we probably have a lot of fighting to look forward to in issue four. Especially with that big ass gun Nick Fury was carrying in the final panel. I mean, sometimes a gun is just a gun, but Mr. Fury’s looking pretty virile there…Ok moving on. Bendis comes back to some of the threads dangling from the first issue, including Jarvis fucking with Maria Hill’s head, Norman Osborne fucking with Captain Marvel’s head, and Spider-Woman fucking with Tony Stark’s head, Yellowjacket fucking with the Initiative’s collective heads, and the Super Skrulls fucking with Vision’s head (by, you know, blowing it up). This issue felt longer than the first, despite being a little less wordy, and I think the disparate threads being reexamined allows for the grand design to further establish itself. Sure, we’ll probably see 90% of the Captain Marvel story in the Thunderbolts issues, but this is a crossover, is it not? What else is there to expect? I’m still definitely along for the ride, and I’m really hooked by the Spider-Woman/Tony Stark scene. I mean, it’s good to see Bendis make everything clear, that Spider-Woman is in fact a Skrull and was indeed replaced by the Skrull Empress, and that dialogue with Tony is just diabolical. Taking a man at his weakest point in the middle of being attacked by a technovirus that has infiltrated his entire body and stringing him along like that could completely unhinge someone. And it’s great because there are two possible outcomes here, both of which make logical sense. Either Tony is indeed a deep cover Skrull, or Spider-Woman is doing her best to make sure Tony’s a non factor in the continuation of the invasion by instilling that fear and doubt in himself that could cause him to hesitate for just long enough. I don’t really know what to expect from this series in the long term. I doubt we’ll see the end of the Superhero Registration Act or the Initiative. Everyone assumes Fury would come back to head SHIELD again, but I don’t know. What I do know is this is pure breezy fun with that little undercurrent of real artistry. A-

Kick-Ass #3

DAMN! Mark Millar wasn’t holding back much on this one. It makes you wonder what the lead time was for his writing and JRJR’s art work, because this is the perfect issue to come in on after a bit of lateness in a title. Did he know it wouldn’t ship monthly? Regardless, this issue sees the explosion outward of this little world. Suddenly, we know that there are others out there like our young protagonist, one of which happens to love eviscerating and partially decapitating people with his sword. Which is arguably fine if not for the fact that he’s basically an eight year old kid. Shit’s fucked up. But beyond all the blood (and you can tell JRJR is exorcising some demons with those last couple of pages), you’ve still got the continuation of this wonderful universe. Sure, Kick-Ass is practically Spider-Man for all intents and purposes, and he has to deal with the whole idea of becoming a viral video star and not being able to take care of it, to being mistaken for gay by the love of his life. It’s not easy for this kid, and he keeps going. This is by far the best issue of Kick-Ass we’ve seen, and it shows so much potential for the future. Pure, unadulterated fun. A

1985 #1

It’s more Mark Millar working in the “real world” here, with the beginning of this six issue mini. This is a trope we’ve seen in many versions, with the fictional characters moving into real life. In this case it’s the villains of the Marvel Universe. Now, the biggest deal about this book is the Tommy Lee Edwards pencils. Now, I’m not at all familiar with Tommy Lee Edwards. To be honest, I don’t know what else he’s done. I do know that this stuff is pretty awesome. Doom, Red Skull and Hulk all have that little extra tinge of reality that makes them look so otherworldly. I mean, I know a big guy in a green cape covered head to toe in armor is going to look a little strange (I mean, just look at the Fantastic Four movies), and Edwards makes sure to not draw him in a fashion that would make him blend in to an environment where he shouldn’t blend in. We’ve got a solid base for this book, and I’m excited to see if this could turn out to basically be Marvels from a child’s perspective. And that’s an angle I appreciate. B


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