Avengers vs. X-Men: so far part 3

I was starting to plan an update every other week for AvX stuff, but the Gambit vs. Captain America fight was too good to leave for a week before it got a review!  Plus, it did help my pull list had a rather large stack this week.
SPOILER WARNING!

Review: Marvel’s The Avengers

Review: Marvel’s The Avengers.

 

Avengers Alliance Game

Review: Avengers Alliance Game

Marvel Adventures Super Heroes 4

Okay, so this isn’t really a super recent comic, in fact it’s over a year old. Still, it would seem an odd choice anyway, right? I mean, an all ages Marvel Adventures comic? Why would I review that? Well, if and when I have kids, I can give them this to introduce them to…oh come on, it’s a review from Pi, who do you think it’s going to be about?

Review: Avengers Prime #1

The best thing about The Siege is that it ended what was for me a very frustrating era.  The Avengers have long been my favorite Marvel franchise.  And after years of languishing, the Avengers were finally in the forefront of the Marvel Universe.  Unfortunately, most of the stories that put them there just didn’t appeal to me very much.

Who is Hawkeye?

I’m getting excited about the up-coming Avengers movie.  First, Joss Whedon (creator of Buffy the Friggin’ Vampire Slayer) signed on to direct.  Then we got some pretty exciting leaks of concept art for Cap and Thor.  Now, Entertainment weekly is reporting that “The Hurt Locker”‘s Jeremy Renner is close to signing on to play Hawkeye.

How’s that for casting?  Perfect, says I!  Renner has the intensity to play Hawkeye.  But he also has the charisma to make the sometimes unsympathetic character likable.

New Comics 05/19/2010

I’ve let this slip the last few weeks.  From Mother’s Day through birthday parties with various soccer games, dance recitals and gymnastics classes in between (for my daughter, not myself) I’ve been even more behind than usual in comic reading this month. 

As a result, I’m going to shake things up just a little.  Pi has started doing a similar weekly feature over at his excellent “whatever” blog.  He’s improved on my original formula, so I’m going to take inspiration back from him and concentrate more on the books I’m actually going to read (or avoid) rather than attempt to comment on everything knowing I’ll only ever get to a few of the books on the list.

In other words, expect a lot of DC and not a lot of Marvel books.  But if you want similar material for Marvel, give Pi’s list a look.  He’s like my Marvel doppleganger.

Spoiler Review: The New Avengers: Finale

Spoiler Review: Siege #4

Not to step on dclebeau’s toe’s, but I had already planned to review the trilogy of Bendis books that came out last Wednesday.

Review: Siege #4 *spoilers*

Siege had 4 issues to tie up plot threads that have been building since at least Marvel’s 2006 event, Civil War.  That’s a pretty daunting task, to be sure.  When measured as the final chapter of a mega-opus that includes Civil War, Secret Invasion and Dark Reign, there’s really no way Siege could hope to deliver the goods.

And it doesn’t.

New Comics for 03/10/2010

I’m trying something new today.  I’m going to post a list of the major new releases that are scheduled for today with comments where appropriate.

Top 5 Best Comics of August 2009!

And the Summer’s over! Really? That…went fast. I had fun, though. Hope you all did, too. Back to school, kiddies! I read 20 comics in August, and these were the best.

 

5. Invincible Iron Man #16

Matt Fraction’s writing is absolutely top-notch. Yes, this story will read better as a whole, but our connection to Tony, Pepper, and Maria is so strong, it hardly matters. The only thing that brings this issue, and the entire series, down, is Salvador Larroca’s Greg Land-esque art.

My Review

4. Ultimate Comics: Avengers #1

Speaking of Summer, you like those blockbusters that accompany the season, right? Well then, this is the comic for you! Just some awesome-kickass, supercool fun! Mark Millar gives it to ya, and Carlos Pacheco makes it look pretty. This opening salvo features a bombastic helicopter fight and a terrifying new villain.

My Review

 

3. Secret Six #12

Like my previous selection, this too is filled with action and good times, only with more twisted villainy. But this comic also has character and soul, and that counts for a lot. This is Jeannette’s issue to shine, and I think she blinded me. Carlos Pacheco’s beautiful interiors certainly contribute to UCA’s placement, but you know what? I’d put Nicola Scott up against Carlos Pacheco any day. Yeah, you read that right.

DC Lebeau’s Review

 

2. Batman and Robin #3

Holy hell, Batman! This series just gets better and better! The first and second issue topped my list in their respective months, and it’s only by some Marvel miracle that this one didn’t. Since I don’t have a proper review of this issue, I want to go over a few things:

Professor Pyg’s “sexy disco hot.” Who else had this song in their head?

Any guesses on who was watching Alfred? Could it be the same person who spied on Bruce & Jezebel all those issues ago?

Awhile ago, DC said, “Scarlet isn’t who you think she is.” That was a damn lie, and I’m pretty sure Red Hood is who you think he is too.

Seventh Soldier’s Review

 

1. Daredevil #500

A phenomenal conclusion to what turned out to be a great run. Brubaker did DD proud, and definitely cast away Bendis’ shadow. On top of that, you get a great short story and a reprint of possibly the best Daredevil comic ever! Yeah, I’m pretty sure that this isn’t just the best comic in August, it’s the best Marvel comic of the year.

My Review

For more comic goodness, go here.

Review: New Avengers 54

In addition to Dark Avengers, I started picking up New Avengers as a result of my recent
Dark Reignexperience.  I had read New Avengers from time to time prior to Dark Reign, but invariably I would lose interest.  Dark Reign brought me back in spite of the fact that the current story in New Avengers is only tangentially related to the reign of Norman Osborn.

Truthfully, this isn’t really even an Avengers story.  It’s a Dr. Strange story in disguise.  I’ve always liked Dr. Strange more in principle than in practice.  While he has a cool costume and powers, he is generally used either for exposition or as a plot device.  So, I didn’t really have a great deal of interest in who would be chosen to replace him as the Sorcerer Supreme.

*Spoilers*

The fact that the eventual replacement turned out to be Brother Voodoo didn’t really heighten my interest at all.  While I’ve seen a few Brother Voodoo guest spots in my day, I don’t really know anything at all about the character.  However, Bendis did a pretty good job of introducing me to the character and making me like him (and his deceased brother I never knew existed).

The issue turned out to be a fairly by-the-numbers “passing the torch” story with Strange agreeing to serve as Voodoo’s mentor.  But the execution was strong enough to make up for the fact that the predictibility of the story.  Plus, there were cool mystical explosions like this:

That is exactly the sort of thing I want to see in a Dr. Strange story. 

After the battle concludes, Hellstrom gives the Avengers a dire warning which teases at yet another big Marvel event following Dark Reign (uh duh).  Then we get a rather intriguing scene with Loki visiting the defeated Hood.  And finally, we get back to Norman Osborn… which is perhaps the weakest part of the story.

read/RANT

Review: Dark Avengers 6

Recently, I spent a weekend catching up with Dark Reign.  I posted a lengthy rant about some of the problems I have with this event as a whole.  But I also noted that some of the individual comics grabbed my attention.  One such comic was Dark Avengers.  Dark Avengers is actually a book that is at the heart of Dark Reign.  As such, most of the problems I have with the premise of Dark Reign also apply to this mini-series.  Even so, there were aspects of Dark Avengers that grabbed my attention.

I think the thing I enjoyed the most about the previous issues was watching Norman Osborn form a relationship with the Sentry.  The two characters have a lot in common.  And Norman has definitely used that to his advantage.  This issue pays that relationship off in a pretty big way.

The story begins with Norman calling together yet another meeting of his Cabal.  I hate these scenes.  There’s no way I can see Loki, Dr. Doom or Namor sitting around a table at the beck and call of Norman Osborn.  Even if it were in their best interests to do so, these characters have huge egos.  I just can’t see them taking his crap.

That’s why it was somewhat refreshing to see Namor finally act like Namor and storm off in a huff when Norman demands that he turn on a group of Atlanteans that have attacked the surface world.  Although I still don’t believe for a second that Dr. Doom would just sit there sulking about being summoned to a meeting that has nothing to do with his interests.

Since Namor refused Norman’s request, he turns to the Sentry.  Actually, that’s not entirely true.  After months of telling Bob that there is no Void, Norman asks to speak with the Void directly.  And it is the Void that does Norman’s dirty work.  You know that;s going to have consequences.  And I am actually interested to see how it plays out.

The art is good.  Sometimes it was even great.  But I wish Mike Deodato didn’t draw Norman to look exactly like Tommy Lee Jones.  It is extremely distracting.

read/RANT

Dark Reign Rant

 

If you’re a regular reader here (Do we even have regular readers?) then you probably know that I generally keep to DC comics.  But that hasn’t always been the case.  In my mis-spent youth, I read just about everything out there.  Gradually, I narrowed my focus to almost exclusively DC books.

In the last few years, I still kept a toe in the Marvel Universe by reading their big events.  Generally speaking, I didn’t read the tie-in books unless it was a book I was already reading.  But I found that these event books were extremely unsatisfying.  I decided to vote with my dollar and stopped supporting them after the train wreck that was Secret Invasion.

Recently, I decided to pick up an issue of Amazing Spider-man.  The circumstances were less than ideal.  It was part 3 of a 5-part story and a Dark Reign tie-in to boot.  But against all odds, I liked it.  My curiosity was piqued.  I resolved to give more Marvel books a try.

A friend of mine who has been following Dark Reign decided to sate my curiosity.  Over the weekend, he dropped off a pile of comics for my perusal.  As far as I can tell, it was basically every book that Marvel has released with a Dark Reign banner on it.  There had to be at least 100 comics.  There was no way I was ever going to make it through them all.

I did find the time to read a lot of them.  And those I didn’t read, I skimmed through.  I was surprised to enjoy just about every book I read.  But the “event” as a whole really leaves a lot to be desired.

First of all, I’ll state the obvious.  There’s no Dark Reign mini-series.  There’s no central storyline here.  Everything is a tie-in.  The closest thing to a central story is Dark Avengers, I suppose.  But it doesn’t really tie into any of the other books carrying the Dark Reign banner.  Dark Reign isn’t so much of a story as it is the current status quo of the Marvel Universe.

Marvel is marketing this thing like they would a cross-over event.  To say the least, this is misleading.  They’ve got that Dark Reign banner on 100 books and counting.  As best I can tell, if a book has anything to do with an past or present member of SHIELD, HAMMER or the Avengers, it gets the Dark Reign banner.  100 books in and I still haven’t found a hint of a beginning, a middle or an end.  It all feels like a massive cash-grab to me.

As I mentioned before, I enjoyed just about every one of the comics I read.  Part of this was due to selection.  I skimmed the books that didn’t interest me.  (Honestly, I skimmed a good 2/3rds of the pile.)  There were plenty of good stories being told.  The one thing they all had in common was a premise.  And frankly, that premise is flawed.

I imagine everyone reading this is aware that the premise of Dark Reign is that following Secret Invasion, Tony Stark was replaced as the director of SHIELD by Norman Osborn.  The Green Goblin himself has been given “unprecedented powers”.  There don’t seem to be any checks and balances to his powers the way there are in the real world.

Norman’s rise to power hinges on one event.  During the big battle with the Skrulls at the end of Secret Invasion, camera crews caught him picking up Reed Richard’s anti-skrull gun and blasting the bad guys with it.  A psychologically unstable mass-murderer picked up a weapon and shot a mutual enemy, and he is rewarded with the keys to the government.  Only in comics, people.

There are obviously some parallels between this situation and one that DC ran with a few years back.  I’m sure most people remember that the people of the DC Universe elected Lex Luthor as president instead of George W. Bush.  That storyline required a suspension of disbelief to be sure.  But it was a much easier story to buy than Dark Reign.

For one thing, Luthor has a better public image than Orborn.  Following Crisis on Infinite Earths, Luthor was typically portrayed as a successful business man.  Only the readers and the heroes were aware of his sinister motivations.  Occasionally, DC would decide to have Luthor do something overtly evil, but they always had a cover story ready for the public at large.

Norman, on the other hand, has publicly acknowledged his history as the Green Goblin.  He’s talked a lot about second chances and chemical imbalances and whatnot.  But seriously, do you think anyone would allow a convicted felon to be appointed to a position of supreme military power?  How many government appointments have turned into scandals over lesser matters? 

Which brings me to my next point.  Luthor won an election whereas Norman was appointed.  On the surface, it may seem easier for a villain to be appointed than elected.  But, I’m going to say the opposite is true. 

At the time of the Luthor story, George W. Bush was elected as president despite losing the popular vote.  We all remember the “hanging chads” and other bizarre events that made headlines at the time.  With only a smidge of suspension of disbelief, it was relatively easy to buy that someone like Lex Luthor could buy an election. 

But a confessed looney like Norman Osborn would never even be a candidate for an appointed position.  Anyone who attempted to appoint him would suffer the political drubbing of a lifetime.

Making matters worse, the president in the Marvel Universe is the real life president.  Obama appears in issues of the Thunderbolts to test Osborn.  And while Osborn puts on a hell of a show to convince Obama he is a hero, there’s just no way a politically savy guy like Obama would allow a loose cannon like Osborn to be in charge of a massive super powered military, national security or any of the other things Osborn seems to be in control of. 

Even with a fictitious goofusof a president, this would be hard to believe.  Having Obama in office just makes it all the more ridiculous.

At several points, the books I read acknowledged that the central premise was far fetched.  Clint Barton goes on live television and publicly lists all of Norman’s crimes.  He accuses the Dark Avengers of being murderers and criminals.  And no one seems overly concerned.  In spite of the fact that during Civil War the public didn’t even trust Captain America, they are now willing to accept any masked character based on the say-so of a madman and convicted felon.

The heroes themselves have no idea how to respond.  I lost count of the number of times one Avenger told another Avenger to wait it out.  The theory seems to be that Osborn will screw up big eventually.  Well, of course he will.  We all know how the story is going to play out.  But should the Avengers really just sit on the sidelines waiting for a big, public screw-up while Norman sits in his office abusing his power?

In the Spider-man issue I reviewed, Spidey decided to get pro-active.  His answer was to pose as Venom and infiltrate the Dark Avengers. 

Several characters (including Spidey himself) pointed out that it was a stupid plan.  And Spidey pays the price.  Wouldn’t it be 1,000 times easier to arrange a public unmasking of Norman’s Avengers?  Seriously, one snap shot of Bullseye as Hawkeye and this story should be over.  How hard could it possibly be to bait these guys into screwing up their public image?

That brings me to another point.  There’s really no one to root for in Dark Reign.  The heroes are all sitting on their hands while the villains take center stage.  At some point in the future, they are going to self destruct.  That’s the story?!?

The hero who has been the most impacted by Dark Reign is Tony Stark.  I’ve never been the biggest Iron Man fan.  And Civil War really made me hate the character.  So, I have to admit I kind of enjoyed seeing him on the outs.  But even as low as Tony is now, I’m still not rooting for the guy. 

It’s really hard to feel sorry for Tony seeing as how he appointed Norman Osborn to head the Thunderbolts to begin with.  Tony got in bed with Norman, Bullseye and Venom when he ran the show.  No surprise it bit him in the ass.

Every now and then I found myself asking, “Is Norman Osborn really all that much worse than Tony Stark?”  Well, of course he is.  Tony is portrayed as a hero who made some bad decisions in tough times whereas Norman is a psycho who portrays himself as a hero. 

But, if you really look at their actions objectively, both Norman and Tony abused their power to further their interests.  They both believe that the ends justify the means.  The Marvel Universe as a whole doesn’t seem to be any worse off under Osborn than it was under Stark.  They are both just different shades of grey.

The shame of it is that a lot of the comics that tie into Dark Reign are good comics.  You just have to get past the absurd premise.  Sometimes, that can be hard to do.  But if you can, there’s some good super hero stories being told.

In the last few years, I’ve gotten really leery of big event comics.  Frankly, I can’t think of one that really delivered the goods.  (As good as Final Crisis was, it made for a pretty dismal event.)  Dark Reign seems to exemplify just about everything I’ve hated about recent Marvel event-driven stories.

It’s bloated.  I pity anyone who (like my friend) feels compelled to buy every chapter.  He’s already hundreds of dollars in the hole.  I bet he’ll have invested a grand in Dark Reign before it’s done.  That’s crazy!

The premise requires the characters involved to behave out of character in order to further the plot.  In this case, the entire Marvel Universe is acting out of character.

And while it’s too early to know for sure, the ending is likely to be an anti-climax that leads directly into Marvel’s next big event.  I mean, how else can this end?  Given Marvel’s track record with ending big events lately, I’ve learned to expect the worst.

On the upside, I’m probably going to be reading a few Marvel books for a little while.  And by any measure, that’s a success for Marvel.  But despite a few good reads in the bunch, I couldn’t help getting in a good rant about the larger issues.

read/RANT

Review: Free Comic Book Day 2009

I was a terrible fan on FCBD. I didn’t even go to a comic shop. You know what I did? I spent the day hanging out with friends. New friends, old friends, beer, sports, and girls culminating with the Manny Pacquiao vs. Ricky Hatton fight. Yeah, remember how that went?

Sorry, that’s actually when Hatton got knocked out by Mayweather, but you get the idea. We got what? Five minutes of boxing? I would’ve asked for my nickel back, but I watched it at a friend’s house. For those who did throw down the money, blame Hatton. Anyway, my FCBD was spent doing the most non-comic book things ever, but I still got my books. Be friends with your comic book guy, kids.

(***1/2)

Atomic Robo: I’ve heard that this was good, and it is. The nice, clean art and sharp writing is impressive. It left me wanting more. Sadly, even though it’s huge on the cover, this story wasn’t the longest in the issue.

Drone: This was the longest story. I’m a bit underwhelmed. Average art and writing, with a ton of words isn’t the best sales pitch. It’s a bit of an interesting concept, though.

We Kill Monsters: I don’t know what to think of this. It just didn’t really hook me at all. It’s not bad.

(***1/2)

Because I like complaining about Bendis:

For a book with both New and Dark Avengers, this isn’t in continuity, is it?

This book has way too many words for kids and new readers.

Why is this book rated teen? Why not write for kids, Bendis? Why the swears?

Why does Spider-Man mention global warming? It’s not even a joke. It’ll just offend adults and confuse the kids.

This book was so damn wordy, and yet it still didn’t introduce all the characters.

Other than all that:It’s pretty good. I mean, it’s Jim Cheung drawing 24 pages of Avengers action. Throw in Thor, and you actually have a memorable FCBD comic. Oh, and we get more pages in this issue than we do in a four-dollar Avengers comic. And why is this book at reduced-size? Every publisher, large and small, is printing normal size, but Marvel? Tiny comics! Boo!

(****)

Some publishers, even the tiny ones, will put out an issue #0 for three bucks, but DC? They put out the #0 of their big, new event for free. Way to go DC! Wednesday Comics, three-dollar comics, and now this? Is anyone still reading Marvel? As for the actual issue, I would have liked to get a good look at all of the corps. We do get that, in a way, but those pages have been online for weeks. I even posted them. What we do get, is a nice conversation between Hal and Barry, an exploration of some of DC’s dead characters, and the Black Lantern Oath. Throw in some sweet Ivan Reis art, and you’ve got an awesome package. Oh, and for those who have been noticing my bitching about Aquaman being brought back in Final Crisis, that’s actually addressed in this issue. Apparently, those were just rumors. BUT I SAW HIM WITH MY OWN EYES! Oh well, way to screw with Morrison’s vision, DiDio.

(**)

“The Simpsons” is my favorite show. Having said that, I don’t think I really laughed once while reading this. That’s bad. The comic is free, features nice art, and may entertain children. That’s good.

(***1/2)

Shazam: This was three pages! I heard this was good, but three pages! Boo!

Brave and the Bold: Entertaining, adequate art, and the kids are the hero of the story, that’s awesome. Also, just like the cartoon, it features a relatively unknown villain, the Thinker. Although, I think Batman and Blue Beetle kill him in this story. What’s up with that?

Tiny Titans: I’ve read this comic before and it’s very fun. I dig the art, too. This one? Not so much. It’s still awesome, and if any of you have kids, this is a good comic.

(**)

I have a friend who absolutely adores this book. Well, he used to. Now, even he isn’t reading it anymore. I’ve tried to get into it. I like the art and some of the pop culture references are funny, but it’s kind of boring. It’s lost its spark.

(***)

If you like Wolverine: First Class, this is right up your alley. It’s Fred Van Lente being Fred Van Lente. It also has some pretty art. I find Wolverine: First Class to be forgettable and unnecessary, so this isn’t my thing, but I think a lot of kids and adults will have a blast.

For more comic goodness, go here.

Review: Dark Avengers #4

(***)

I have good news and bad news. I’ve always been one to take the bad news first. That way, you leave things on a positive note.

The Bad: There are so many, but a lot of them are little things. I’ll do my best to keep it brief. The characters are handled poorly, particularly the ones Bendis doesn’t know how to handle, like Noh-Varr. I don’t think he’d ever say, “I’ve got my hands full!” There’s also a “joke” where Noh doesn’t know what eBay is. This is the guy who learned everything about Earth, why wouldn’t he know what eBay is? Or why couldn’t he tell that Ms. Marvel (Moonstone) was hitting on him? He’s already had two loves. Also, Morgana Le Fay continues to be written horribly. She’s a lovesick bitch who dies again in this issue! What is that, four times now? That of course brings up the whole time nonsense, something a writer should never use unless it’s very clear and very necessary. This was neither. There’s even a moment in this issue where Doom talks about not screwing time up, and then by the end, Doom himself seemed to have done quite a bit of time-screwing.

The Good: My god, the art is beautiful. I mean, Deodato has always been good, but this is ridiculous, even his page layouts are getting more dynamic. As I’m sure you all know, Bendis loves his splash-pages. There’s about six or so, in here. Even though we’re wasting six of the 22 pages in a four-dollar comic, you probably won’t complain much because Deodato’s renderings are so gorgeous. You can get wallpaper from this issue here. It should also be mentioned that Rain Beredo’s coloring adds tremendously, as well.

Final Word: There are some good moments. The last page is pretty cool. Then again, it’s mostly Mike Deodato that makes it cool. The writing isn’t terrible, but there were certainly a lot of mistakes. The first arc concludes, an arc that probably should have been an issue or two less. This issue should probably be about two stars, but I’m a sucker for the art. I do like the characters, despite Bendis’ occasional mishandling, and I am interested in where things are going. I’ll probably stick around until the end of Fraction’s upcoming arc, and then we’ll see. For the rest of you, proceed with caution.

Bruce Castle Presents: Bendis vs. Loeb – Spoilers!

New Avengers #48 (***1/2)

Ok, so if you’ve read my other reviews you’ll know that I didn’t like Secret Invasion. I disliked the New Avengers issues during that time and I liked that recent Dark Reign one-shot even less. But this issue was good. First off, Billy Tan has drastically improved, He’s soared above mediocrity and he assures you that he’s worthy of being featured in Marvel’s flagship title. The objective of this issue should have been to establish the new team, wrap up all the SI nonsense, present an intriguing future for our heroes and possibly a twist or two. Bendis accomplishes all of that, mostly. Yes there’s another damn Skrull (Can that be the last time I type that word please?) and I’m still not sure about my enthusiasm towards this book, but this issue was satisfying enough. Bendis uses “Talky Room” again (Description of that here) and he introduces his new team in a fun way. The new lineup is the five dudes on the cover (Big surprise) plus her, her, her and her. Jaw-dropping? No, it’s pretty much who’d you expect. And the big twist in this issue? Luke Cage sells out to you-know-who. So, it was a good issue, but will I stick around post-4 bucks? I don’t know.

Ultimate Spider-Man #129 (****)

This issue was great. It was an Ultimatum tie-in that was better than the main mini this week. But what did this have to do with Ultimatum? Business seems normal. There’s a bit of a big event in here though. It concludes with the cops with May wanting to talk about her relation to Spider-Man. That’s cool, but Ultimatum related? I don’t think so. Then again, Bendis did say that Spider-Man may not be Peter Parker after Ultimatum. Jessica Drew returns! The clone one not the Skrull (Damn it! Again!) one. Bendis loves him some Jessica Drew. Human Torch makes an appearance as well. The highlight of this issue of course is Bendis’ marvelous teenage dialogue. Well done again sir!

Ultimatum #2 (***1/2)

Say what you want about this book, but at least it delivers the goods. Well, it does in the death and WTF departments. The biggest problem here is the lack of emotional attachment. If you aren’t invested in these characters, you probably won’t care much. And if you do care, you may feel Loeb shows disrespect towards the beloved characters. The deaths in this issue? The Blob eats the wasp! Again, WTF! The last time I saw Blob (Other than possibly Ultimates 3. That series is a blur) was in Ultimate Spider-Man when it was revealed that he was Liz’s father. He was a sympathetic character, and now he’s chowing down on the Wasp and says “tastes like chicken”. Ok, that one I can’t explain, but I think I can with the next one. Magneto snaps Professor X’s neck! So that’s a WTF, but that makes sense in the Ultimate U. Magneto is much more evil there. He’s furious about the death of his children, but he’s also a vicious bastard. And remember, Prof did screw with Magneto’s mind earlier. So I kind of like this outcome. Both of them are willing to go to extreme lengths to fight each other. Oh there was one more death in this issue, but even I didn’t care much because it was Valkyrie. But we did get to see Ultimate Hela who’s an S&M nightmare (Must all the Ultimate Loeb characters be so “modern”). Thor went to Valhalla and Cap was there too?! Oh noes! Is Cap dead?! Oh and it was a bit annoying to see events I already know the outcome to because of those recent Fantastic Four issues. Why must Finch be so slow? Oh well, he did another great job here. But have the boobs on his women always been this BIG?

See? Was Finch always that…Cho? Anyway, Ultimatum continues to be a violent shocking cleansing of the Ultimate U. I just wish there was more substance to accompany all that flash.

Hulk #9 (****)

And speaking of Frank Cho, it’s his last issue of Hulk, for now. Reviewing this book is silly. Almost as silly as the book itself. You either love it or you hate it. And if you haven’t read it or even to those who hate it, this is basically a modern Stan Lee book. The comedy, the zany ideas, even the great art. It’s satirical people! Multiple Wendigos! Wendihulk! Sentry and Moon Knight talk about going to the same shrink! It’s a lot of big pretty dumb fun. Next issue? It’s Defenders vs. Offenders! Nuff said!

Review/Rant: Secret Invasion 8 (*Spoilers*)

A few disclaimers first.  One, I’m an unabashed DC fanboy.  I read the Marvel titles that interest me, but that doesn’t amount to much these days.  Two, I hate the skrulls.  I always have.  They bore the living crap out of me.  So, I approached Secret Invasion with trepidation from the start.  Three, I was at best a casual reader of Secret Invasion.  I read the main series and that was it (although I accidentally read a couple of tie-ins that I didn’t realize were tie-ins until after I bought them).

I wanted to get that out of the way because my perspective on Secret Invasion 8 is probably very different from the majority of comic book readers who followed at least a few of the many, many tie-ins.  Aside from a couple of issues of Deadpool, I am reacting solely to the contents of the main series.  Did it hold up on its own merit?

My answer is “no”.  Naturally, I’ll explain my reasoning.  But I figured I’d give you the verdict up front.  No reason to try to create a false sense of suspense…  (We’ve been subjected to enough of that in Secret Invasion and its many, many, many tie-ins.

Before I start detailing why Secret Invasion failed for me, let me talk about the ways in which it was a success.  First and foremost, Leinil Yu’s artwork was consistently amazing.  The series was worth reading just for the art.  The story, was an utter disappointment.  But the art was top notch from start to finish.

The one thing I will grant Bendis in terms of the story was that it was relatively accessible to a casual Marvel reader like myself.  That’s a pretty amazing accomplishment considering that the story was intended to tie up years of dangling plot threads and conspiracy theories.  For the most part, all of those issues were dealt with outside of the main series.

There’s a downside to this approach.  Frankly, there wasn’t much left to deal with in the main series.  Eight issues have come and gone and I’d be hard pressed to come up with more than three sentences to summarize what happened.  The Skrulls showed up.  They fought with the heroes and villains of earth.  They got their asses handed to them. 

It’s the same Skrull Invasion story we’ve all read 1,000 times before.  But for the one-thousand-and-first telling, Bendis has dragged it out for the better part of a year.  And this is after years and years of build-up.  And more tie-ins than I can count.  Folks, there were a lot of tie-ins.

I know I’m not being 100% fair to Secret Invasion here.  But seriously, without referencing a tie-in, can anyone explain any way in which this story was any different from the generic alien-invasion story that’s been done to death in comics for decades?

Issue 8 in particular is a let-down.  Here’s the thing that really pissed me off.  This is really Dark Reign #1 with a Secret Invasion epilogue at the beginning.  The ending of the years-in-the-making Secret Invasion story arc which has dragged on for hundreds of thousands of issues (I kid!) is wrapped up and shuffled off stage in a few pages.  With that unpleasantness out of the way, we start moving on to the next Big Marvel Event which will no doubt have at least as many tie-in issues as Secret Invasion.

So, let’s make with the spoilers already.  This being a Big Marvel Event, they need to kill of a character who doesn’t really sell comics on their own.  In Civil War, it was Goliath.  For Secret Invasion, we get an upgrade to a third stringer.  Wasp dies.  Did anyone out there really care?  I know, I didn’t.  (Partially because you just know they will bring her back eventually.)

Even though I did not care about Wasp’s demise, the heroes and villains of the Marvel Universe cared a lot.  It’s kind of a major plot point.  Wasp’s death is apparently the inspiration the citizens of earth needed to fight back the alien invasion.

I dunno.  This just came across as really bogus to me.  Apparently, all the Avengers and the Fantastic Four really needed to defeat the Skrulls was the Eye of the Tiger?  It was kind of like Rocky III without the mohawks, gold chains and Thunderlips.

All kidding aside, shouldn’t most of these heroes have been pretty damn motivated to defeat the Skrulls several issues ago?  Reed’s family was kidnapped and he was tortured.  Why does he need Wasp’s death to get him off his elastic rear end? 

By this point in the story, the world has been at war.  And the humans all but lost.  Surely there had been casualties up to this point.  Innocent civilians lost.  For all the heroes knew, dozens of their friends and allies had been killed and replaced by Skrulls already.  (This turned out not to be the case, but the characters in the story didn’t know that at the time.) 

Why would Wasp’s death have been any more of a motivational factor than any of the others that came before?  Were the heroes really expecting to repel an alien invasion without casualties?  And wouldn’t most of the villains present have been at least a little relieved that there was one less Avenger in the world?

So, yeah, the one major plot point of the final battle with the Skrulls rang pretty false to this reader.  (Although everything Thor did was 100% awesome!)  The battle ended swiftly and was followed by a few pages of hurried wrap-up.  You could almost see Joe Q standing off to the side telling them to get off stage to make room for the next Big Marvel Event.

Oh, but there was one final cop-out to be had.  During the clean-up, the heroes open up a Skrull warship to find… all of the missing heroes.  Yep, all the characters you thought were killed and replaced by Skrulls were not dead afterall.  That’s a pretty big reset button!  Status quo for everyone!

The last half of the issue is dedicated to establishing the new status quo.  Pretty much the only thing that changed after years of build up and infinite tie-ins is that Norman Osborne is the new big man on Marvel’s campus.  As someone who came to loathe Tony Stark during Civil War, I have to admit that I enjoyed seeing karma kick his tin-plated ass.  But couldn’t they have waited until Secret Invasion was over before they started pimping Dark Reign?

Now, I’ll give them credit for this much… the premise of Dark Reign sounds pretty darn cool.  And the last page reveal of the bad guy equivalent of the Illuminati was pretty darn awesome.  Unlike Secret Invasion, I’m not turned off by the very premise of Dark Reign.  I may even pick up some of the ties-ins.  (I expect there will be a few to choose from.)

But Dark Reign aside, Secret Invasion was a real snooze.  After years of build up, an event of this size deserved a more satisfying and less rushed ending.

Foilball’s Review Roundup #59 – Secret Invasion and Final Crisis, The Tie-Ins!

Deadpool #3 (***1/2)

Not as good as 2, and way worse than 1. I hope this series has somewhere to go once the Invasion ends. Or maybe I don’t. Can I really afford another monthly?

Guardians of the Galaxy #6 (***1/2)

Wacky misunderstandings in space! Heh, but seriously, how the hell is Peter gonna convince all his buddies to come back and play nice? He basically brainwashed them! It would be pretty sweet if they all formed their own group and told Starlord to piss off.

Iron Man: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. #34 (**)

BORING. Is this what we should expect from the forthcoming War Machine ongoing? Perhaps I should adjust my pre-order?

Mighty Avengers #19 (*)

Complete waste as it failed at making me care about Marvel Boy. UGH. You can’t just go through the motions, Bendis, you actually have to write clever character stuff!

Secret Invasion: Frontline #4 (****)

Still the best tie-in. Do you get the feeling that maybe Ben Urich is gonna bite it at the end of this mini? I hope so. I like him, but he bugs me. Actually, Sally Floyd bugs me more. Kill her, Marvel!

Secret Invasion: Inhumans #3 (****)

This issue makes me very excited about the direction Marvel is taking the Inhumans. The War of Kings story is going to be epic, people!

Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds (***)

I started to read this, and then I got bored. Heh, maybe I’ll finish later…

Final Crisis: Revelations #3 (***)

I don’t really know how to feel about this comic. It’s well written, but I’m not sure if I like it. Is that weird?

Final Crisis: Rogue’s Revenge #3 (*****)

THIS WAS AWESOME! Those Rogues are some cold-blooded bastards, right! It’s interesting that Captain Cold thinks murdering Inertia makes up for murdering Bart Allen/Flash/Kid Flash/Impulse. I don’t think that’s how it works, dude. And, oh man, having the Rogues cringe at the possibility of the return of Barry Allen as the Flash really gets the mind buzzing for next year’s big flash event. As far as this being a tie-in to FC and not just a cash grab? FAIL. Sure, this mini explains why the Rogues opted out of Libra’s Society, but did anyone really care? That subplot was completely irrelevant to the main plot, that being the murder of Inertia. I’m sure I would have enjoyed this book just as much without all the FC hoopla.