This book is bad. Seriously, you should all thank me for reading it so you don’t have to.
How bad is it?
Well, this issue steals its premise from one of the most celebrated Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes of all time, Hush. Hush was amazing because of the way the characters were able to communicate silently. In television, a medium that typically includes sound, the effect was sometimes creepy, sometimes touching and often hysterical. In a comic book, it just means the horrible dialogue appears in thought captions instead.
How bad is the internal monologue? Check out the opening spread from Black Canary:
On the next page is the single word “Silence” Ooooo. So, the leader of the JLA is afraid of the sounds of silence. Don’t take her to a Simon and Garfunkle concert!
In the Buffy episode, people were weirded out by the fact no one could make any noise vocally. People started buying dry erase boards so they could communicate. They were freaked out, but they went about their daily lives. In this book, people start acting like it’s the end of the world. Riots break out immediately. And when Black Canary saves a girl from a street gang (she stops the last one by throwing a knife in his leg, btw) the girl asks why she let them live.
Because if someone turns off the sound for five minutes, everyone’s going to go all Lord of the Flies all the sudden.
By page 6, we are treated to the team of Green Arrow and Cupid. (Seriously, why don’t they just rename the book? Get Dinah the hell out of this book, please!)
Cupid’s idea of heroics is to put a family out of their misery rather than letting them burn to death. Ollie stops her and rescues the family rather easily. Which leads to this marvelous exchange:
I don’t know, Ollie. Maybe you could lock the psycho up before she actually executes someone! Just a thought!
Dinah visits some scientists who give her a way to track the source of the problem through, you know, science. Or comic book science at least. Of course, Black Canary doesn’t knock on the office door. No, she breaks in their window and shrugs for no apparent reason.
Because the window was dirty and you didn’t want to clean it?
Through a flash-back, we learn that Dinah was not good in science (presumably because she’s a girl, right?) And that this whole thing is her fault. But we already more or less knew that from the first issue of Kreisberg’s run. Now we just find out this isn’t the first time she’s blown out someone’s ear drums.
Silly, girl. Always blowing out people’s eardrums, knifing thugs and being saved by Green Arrow.
Oh, and we also find out where BC got her ideas about how to enter a room:
I guess Wildcat didn’t get the memo about the JSA’s mission to make better heroes, huh.
Hopefully by reading this comic, I saved someone else from having to waste $3.