Let me start by saying that everything I have seen associated with Blackest Night so far looks pretty damn stupid. Johns has been building up all of these different corps for a while now. In some form or another, he’s been laying the groundwork for this story since Rebirth. But lately, he’s been working double time to establish a Skittles-colored rainbow of emotional corps.
I know a lot of GL fans have been swallowing this stuff whole. But for me, it just looks silly. A bunch of weird aliens in color-coded spandex with matching auras. Whenever they meet, it looks like a Pink Floyd laser show.
And when you look closer at these different corps, it can be hard to see the difference. Green Lanterns power their rings with their willpower. That’s simple enough. But then you throw in the Sinestro Corps and things start to get complicated.
Supposedly, the Sinestro Corps derives its power from the ability to cause fear. So, if a Sinestro Corps member faces off against Daredevil (the man without fear) does their ring work? Why would it work in the vacuum of space? Is it because they have the potential to cause fear if there was someone around to scare?
Am I thinking about this too much? Yep. And I was willing to suspend my disbelief when it was just the two corps facing off in the entertaining Sinestro Corps War story.
But with the addition of each new corps, the questions become more relevant. The Star Sapphires are powered by love. Why are they all women? Don’t men have the capacity for love? Why are they so pissed off? It seems to me like they have been portrayed more like the Glen Close Corps than beings who are fueled by love.
The Red Lanterns puke up acid-like blood. Their super power is puke. And they have an angry kitty cat on their team. Sometimes, there’s a thin line between cool and lame. For me, this falls on the lame side of that line.
And of course, front and center in all of this is Hal Jordan. Hal’s a rebel. He’ll sucker punch anyone for any reason. (Especially Batman.) He’s so cool, every corps out there has to have him as a member. I fully expect that before the end of Blackest Night, we’ll see Hal in a thong as he leads the Star Sapphires to victory (and then beds them all in a big, glowy orgy).
Sometimes, it feels like Johns’ entire purpose in life is to convince every man, woman and child that Hal Jordan is cool. But by trying so hard, Johns often convinces me of the opposite. Hal Jordan is the kid in school who kept telling everyone how cool he was until everyone realized he was a wannabe.
And don’t get me started on the zombies. Dude, that has been so overdone. I don’t really want to see Aquazombie. Just give me back Aquaman, okay. (If you need to, you can take back Barry Allen in exchange.)
“The dead will rise”. Is that really what the DC Universe needs right now? More dead characters coming back to life. If you really want to get my attention, try this for a tag line: “The dead will stay dead.” I’ll buy that book.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to buy this book. I like Johns even if he tries too hard whenever Hal Jordan or Barry Allen is involved. And I liked the Sinestro Corps War. I think it’s over-rated. But when you compare it to most of the other “event” stories out there, SCW is one of the better reads in recent years.
Because of that, I’m giving Blackest Night the benefit of the doubt. I thought Sinestro Corp War sounded pretty stupid in concept and it ended up being an entertaining ride. Hopefully, Blackest Night will be a pleasant surprise as well.
But in the meanwhile, it seems like DC is working overtime to lower my expectations…
Uh, before I read this, why the blazes haven’t you emailed me yet? Seriously, I’d like to take that down. Oh, and put yours up, too.
“Whenever they meet, it looks like a Pink Floyd laser show.”
And just what the hell is wrong with that?
“So, if a Sinestro Corps member faces off against Daredevil (the man without fear) does their ring work?”
Well, Hal is also known as the man without fear.
“Why would it work in the vacuum of space? Is it because they have the potential to cause fear if there was someone around to scare?”
C’mon! They obviously carry mirrors around, stopping every couple of planets to scare themselves.
“It seems to me like they have been portrayed more like the Glen Close Corps than beings who are fueled by love.”
Well, the feminists got a hold of the light. They draft their own crew.
“I fully expect that before the end of Blackest Night, we’ll see Hal in a thong as he leads the Star Sapphires to victory (and then beds them all in a big, glowy orgy).”
Best ending ever! Seriously, Hal would look good in a thong. A big, glowy orgy would be really pretty. And honestly, think of the ends of the last few Marvel events. How have they ended? Cap giving up? This is better. Osborn talking to villains? This is better.
“Sometimes, it feels like Johns’ entire purpose in life is to convince every man, woman and child that Hal Jordan is cool.”
There are worse ways to spend your life. Hal is pretty cool.
“Hal Jordan is the kid in school who kept telling everyone how cool he was until everyone realized he was a wannabe.”
Hmm, Ethan Van Sciver told me that he sees Hal as King Arthur, but I guess that works, too.
“I don’t really want to see Aquazombie.”
You won’t. Aquaman came back in Final Crisis, damn it!
“The dead will stay dead.” I’ll buy that book.
I would, too. Although, no one else would. Honestly, how would fans react if none of their heroes came back? Superman, Batman, Hal, Ollie, Steve, etc. Fans would burn houses.
“I like Johns even if he tries to hard whenever Hal Jordan or Barry Allen is involved.”
What? He’s written like one issue about Barry. I know for a fact, unless things have changed, that his favorite Flash is Wally.
“But in the meanwhile, it seems like DC is working overtime to lower my expectations…”
That could be a good thing, though. How many movies have you seen, expecting to hate it, but then ended up having fun?
Ha! I had fun responding to this. I may be the only one who pays attention to views, but have you noticed how many people have looked at this already? It’s like over 300. Same thing goes for your DC March Solicitations. Do you post links in other places to get hits, or is it just luck? Then again, my recent GL review has gotten a lot of hits, too. So who knows?
Wow that looks huge. I swear, it’s really not that long. I just quoted you a lot.
Hey Bruce,
I enjoyed reading your response, lengthy though it may be. You made me laugh a few times, which was really the point of the whole rant to begin with.
You may not know this about Aquaman, but the one in Final Crisis was not from “our” dimension. That was an Aquaman from another earth. Didio has said so in interviews. Supposedly, this will be made clearer in Blackest Night #1. I have actually seen the promo art of Aqauazombie. He is coming. Brace yourself.
Hal in a thong beats the end of Civil War. Can’t argue with you there.
(You wanna know a secret? I’ve been posting links to DC-related articles over at the DC forums to drive traffic to our little site. I didn’t do that for the March Solicit article. I’ve got no explanation for that one. But I did it for this fun-filled rant, the Adventure Comics teaser and your GL review. Hopefully some of you like what you read and come back for more – hint hint!)
Oh, and because I can’t respond to your thread – you should definitely check out Power Girl
Oh, I know Aquazombie is coming. But he shouldn’t fucking be! That isn’t Aquaman from another dimension! It’s supposed to be Arthur fucking Curry! I believe it was in the director’s cut of Final Crisis #1. Grant Morrison said that he was going to bring Aquaman some glory. He said that Aquaman was going to play a big part in Final Crisis, and that Aquaman would be the badass that he should be. Yeah, he was in what? Two more panels after that? DarkDidio apparently had to get his claws all over Morrison’s work.
Ah, that makes sense. I’ve been posting some of my Kirkman reviews over on his boards. I should probably be doing that more. Well done! Although, I’m worried that the readers don’t know where to go after that. If we ever do get some site control, something we have to establish is an obvious link to the main page. How would you know to click the Frank Cho art? It’s like a secret passage or something. That’s why I’ve given readers instructions in some of my reviews.
Well, I think I’ll definitely read it in trade. I don’t know. I want to read it, but I have a feeling it’ll be cancelled after 20 issues or so. Seriously, other than Wonder Woman, women leads can’t keep sales up. Do you know how much it sucks to have a great title cancelled? So yeah, part of me wants to avoid the heartache.
I was talking about Power Girl in that last paragraph.
I share your feelings on Aquaman.
I think most people figure out to look around. I would like to be able to redesign things to make it a bit more intuitive.
PG will last more than 20 issues. Have some faith!
The no female lead characters thing is such a cop-out. Catwoman and Birds of Pery were only canceled due to Batman RIP. Supergirl is still alive and kicking. Heck, Manhunter made it more than 20 issues and she will live on in back-up features.
I’ll stick around PG as long as Amanda Connor is on art.
Hmm, your arguement powers are working. My wallet is starting to hate you, though. Yes, I would love it if Conner has a long-time home. She never really has before.
So, what, are you going to try to get me to read Batman: Streets of Gotham and Gotham City Sirens in floppies now, too?
Honestly, I’m not sold on any of the Batman books at this point beyone Batman and Robin. I’ll sample the others.
If it makes you feel better, my wallet sometimes hates me too.
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